The resolutions
The resolutions Every year I made the same 3 resolutions: lose weight, get into a meaningful relationship and buy lots of heels. I know my precious, there was little sign of any weight loss and there had been a few dates but none that were worthy of a permanent toothbrush. I bought myself a pair […]
The virtual dick
We met on one of those adult friend sites. I know my precious, but, he was hot. He told me he was well hung and sent text pictures to validate his claims. Oh, and he was African. I really couldn’t ask for more from a potential friend with benefits. But then he insisted that I […]
Flying without wings
Flying without wings Sometimes the joy of internet dating is like the joy of eating out. Sometimes you want a good home cook meal that someone else has cooked or a fancy restaurant and sometimes you just want a take away. You know it’s not going to be that good for you but it’s filling […]
The gift gap
I still feel a little queasy when I recall the moment of shame with amazing clarity. You know how it is my precious when you become friends with a guy and quickly they permeate into every part of your life? They have your email, phone number Facebook etc and are the first person you call […]
Mr Sway
It was one of those work dinners I hate. Dry food punctuated by the free glass of flat and warm fizzy wine. And, all with the joyous company of workmates you avoid for most of the year. After dinner they look to yours truly to suggest a place for more drinks. Clearly some of them […]
The sex test
So today I got a fright. Today my precious for an hour of my life I lost my fabulousness. It started well. Waking up singing Akuna Matata I remembered that I’d had a heap of blood tests done and was yet to get the results. So I called and they said I needed to come […]
The Dating Oath
After a series of bad internet dates I had given up on dating. I had instead become obsessed with finding perfection in a romantic film where one or both the protagonists don’t die, stutter their feelings awkwardly, or speak like the kids from Dawson’ Creek. So far I have managed to discern that this is […]
The sex club date
Whilst virtual dating I tripped across an older guy who wasn’t my type but he insisted that we could be friends. I have since learned that this is no such thing as virtual friends who ever want to shag you. He thought to sweeten the deal by inviting me to a sex club. Curious I […]
Beam me up
Beam me up Last night I was watching Love, Sex and Eating the Bones which is about a man whose porn addiction impacts on his relationship. Which reminded me of my short relationship with Afroman. Oh my precious, Afroman! Not only was he a delicious ex model but he lived near me and he was […]
The Nollywood date
The Nollywood Date I can’t say as I have much time for Nollywood since my encounter with an obsessed fan. After weeks of internet flirting we met at a bar and…..there was an awful lot more flesh than I was used to and Maxine (my budda belly) was feeling decidedly anorexic in comparison. Anyway we […]