I still feel a little queasy when I recall the moment of shame with amazing clarity. You know how it is my precious when you become friends with a guy and quickly they permeate into every part of your life? They have your email, phone number Facebook etc and are the first person you call when your ceiling falls through. He was my ceiling guy. Yes I knew he had a long distance girlfriend but she was barely mentioned. So despite myself I woke up one day and decided …..I was in crush. For those of you who know me you will know that this is a regular occurrence and that crushes rain as freely as chocolate and cocktails in my world. It’s the perfect love without responsibility but lashings of guilt.
Not being a boyfriend stealer I kept it to myself but slowly it SEEMED that the feelings were being reciprocated. I saw him more than 3 times a week at worst and stopped dating. Ok when I say stopped dating I mean stopped dating new people. I had long standing commitments to maintain!
But as Christmas approached the question of the gift came up. I noticed that he didn’t have a man bag so carefully researched the perfect one. I marched up to Peter Jones and confidently purchased it. Then later that day he casually mentioned how he hated pretentious man bags and the brand I had just bought. Could explain why he didn’t have one.
So then I was stuck. What to get the man who has and can afford anything? I know he loved to travel and a few months earlier he had mentioned his favourite hotel being in Paris so, I know my precious, I went there. I emailed his best friend who dislikes me at the best of times and he gave me the hotel name. Then I carefully extracted some GCSE French from the internet and planned a call to the hotel to book a lunch. It turns out that they could speak perfect English and didn’t need my grammatically incorrect stammering. Eurostar was next and I figured why not make it a group trip and invited the crew who were more than happy for a day trip to Paris
Meanwhile he was planning his own surprise and just before the trip he showered me with gifts. Breath mints and a key ring. After carrying out a poll of friends and family I realised that it wasn’t my breath that stunk. It was his gifts which reeked of the airport purchases on his last trip to see….. his girlfriend.
Gulping down my disappointment I smiled but inside my precious I knew that a man that didn’t know that no gift is better than airport gifts (excluding duty free of course) is not the man for me. So we went to Paris and had a nice time but there’s something about Paris that now leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
Breath mint anyone?
A lesson for you- the only guessing game you have to play is whether he is committed not whether he is interested.
Surely you a) don’t get commitment straight away b) should KNOW that he’s committed not guess. My conclusion is that most men love showing interest without commitment and responsibility and that women find signs where there are none but miss the biggies.