Deal breakers part 3

A-Sexy D is for deal breakers part 3

click for part 1 and part 2

10)       Smoking

Now I know that there are two types of smoking but neither of them work for me and many others. People think smoking looks cool but it just looks insecure and dirty. Vaping looks fiddly and I tried it but I was soon bored. Just stick to food vices like the rest of us hmmm?


The first type means that you will smell even though you have convinced yourself that it’s not the case. This is because your sense of smell is ruined. It also means that you will act stupidly going outside in the cold or rain for a cigarette. My own smoking career lasted as long as the ban from smoking indoors. I’m more scared of the cold than I am anything else.

Now I know not all smokers are addicted to it. Some it’s an oral fixation. Dude I can think of so many better things you can fix your lips onto. Come let’s make a plan.


The second type of smoking is the weed. There’s just have no time or respect for it on the whole. The medicinal purposes I get but as a recreation, nah. I know many don’t consider it to be drug and yet the psychotic drug effects on many aren’t a joke. Honestly, it makes even the most hyper of people lazier. I don’t see its point or purpose. Weed smokers always have some justification. Some say it’s their religion (sans dreadlocks dude? Still eat pork and I’ve never heard you hum a reggae tune?) others that it’s cultural (you’re Asian from the East Midlands!) and then there are those that just don’t seem to have any real drive or focus.

I don’t see how you can smoke regularly and get anything done.  It’s so alarmingly fattening too! I don’t do it for the munchies weight gain alone and because some of us need to work. Also I don’t have time to delve into the conspiracy theories of groups and world events. I just don’t so stop trying to convince me about the evil that is Blue Ivy.


Ah yes then there is the frequency debate. Don’t think that less than once a day doesn’t mean you don’t smoke too much. If you can’t book a long weekend away cos you’ll miss the weed too much then it’s too much.

I dated a guy who hid that he smoked for 5 years. I caught the odd whiff but these were the days when the pubs let you smoke inside and he was a drinker so I didn’t question it. I find the whole idea of smoking and having to hide it even worse.

Oh and then lighting up after sex? With my linen? Nah mate, that’s not the one. Take your skinny arse outside and show it to the moon. Not in my house.  And then you want to put your lips on my, erm, lips? Not going to happen.

So yes if you smoke let’s keep it moving. There is just no way of making it sexy.

© Chelsea Black


  1. I dont smoke and prefer non smokers because of some reasons mentioned above, especially smell, but I have known weed to be a good companion whilst having your garden moistened…

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