5 4 3 2 1 – Last chance weekend !!!
My brothers. This one is aimed more at you than the women.
So I’ve talked about Covid dating and of course the need to get yourself a winter warmer. But then for cuffing season to be interrupted by Covid AGAIN from Monday?. I know this isn’t a full lockdown but with gatherings limited and people not wanting to restaurant or bar out as much then, this is, quite frankly, your last chance weekend. And Winter flu is coming! Fam, you need a plan Here’s how:
1. Stop the faffing
The one you’ve been talking to for the last few weeks at random times with no real rhyme or reason thinking you had all the time in the world? This is it Fam! You’re going to have to choose from the 5 you’re dicking about with the randomness and make a plan. Get that dick, I mean date locked in now Fam. Otherwise it may be a long, limp autumn and winter for you. You’re welcome.
2. Order online
What do you mean you STILL don’t have a picnic basket/ travel eating paraphernalia? Don’t get caught out by Amazon delivery delays. Go get yourself a likkle something from Waitrose or John Lewis now before you’re out of luck.
And masks. Let your mask be cute and varied in case this lasts longer than any of us want and you don’t have time to do a mask wash in between your dates. Nothing says NAH like a smelly mask.
3. Technology check?
I’ve been watching virtual catfish on MTV and shock of all shock, all of the catfish have access to video calling functionalities. But do you? Don’t forget things like lighting etc. Now is not the time to be deemed a catfish. Make sure your phone and laptop are working. And don’t like my mum get a new one then not realise that the camera has a sticker on it. Be better than that.
4. Toilet Paper top up
If you think she’s going to stay over then get that 3 ply in stock now. I noticed the other day that M&S were running low. Don’t let that be what denies you that morning wood action. You’ve been warned. I will never ever stay in a house with limited toilet roll. It tells me that you aren’t on top of your shopping so how could you ever be on top of me? Nope, keep your stock levels right.
Oh and don’t be afraid to top up that snack cupboard either. 😉
5. Be Brave and go conquer
Not that women are there to be conquered (let me not get into a feminist argument here so let’s assume you know what I mean). Don’t act like you’re the only one orbiting your target planet. Chances are she’s got options so I’d get in there quick and confirm the date. Fear of losing out shouldn’t be your only driver, true but, I don’t want you lot moaning about the long hard, lonely winter and act like you didn’t have a chance. Go make it right!
And that note let me go the shops, I’m running low on snacks
© Chelsea Black ® 2020 – Covid Era