Happy start of the week All!
Ghosting is now orbiting.
Let me explain. Over the weekend I posted about ghosting and how I really hate it. This is not news to any of you but, this thing of people disappearing and then reappearing? Let me be clear: If you’re going to ghost me stay dead! Stop popping up and trying to reincarnate yourself as a decent human being. It’s tiring and boring and a lie. You’re a selfish attention seeker who doesn’t have the ability to communicate when you’re not that into someone. It’s not that hard! Text it! I digress though.
Don’t forget the tagging!
There is also the useless art of tagging you. This is where someone will show just enough interest to hook you then dangle their bits in front of you every once in a while, to keep said interest whilst they pursue other interests elsewhere but really they are just the same as a ghost.
What is orbiting?
But then I heard about this new thing through a NYT article called orbiting. I assume you are the planet and they are a pesky meteor? I’m not going to summarise but basically Orbiting is the ridiculous art of cyber stalking and tagging someone so they aren’t really ghosting you. There are there, somewhere in the cybersphere checking on everything you do and ocassionally commenting. This could be someone you like, crush or an ex. You know they are doing this because when you do see them in the real world they mention all sorts of random posts and facts that you have long forgotten about. Hey, I post over 50 times a day on a good day. I can’t remember 90% of them.
How to beat it
So here’s what we should do: If someone ghosts then tries to stage a passive aggressive comeback with a tagging or orbiting you block them on everything. Nobody needs this level of negative energy in their galaxy. Trust me this is self care 101. Or you mute them so you don’t have to engage with them on social media. Or maybe just accept that their behaviour is hella creepy and unfriend them. Nothing says, ‘This shit is unacceptable’ like a good ole fashioned unfriend.
Stop accepting these half measures
WE need to move away from being nice to people just because they may have liked us or LOLed a little too hard at a mediocre joke. Or complimented our New Year, New You photos or a struggle plate that looked like half a week’s shopping without shaming us for being a glutton. Yes, it’s lovely that people show love but it doesn’t mean we need it to survive. If you do need it then check yourself. Things are more serious than I realised.
I’ve blocked, muted, unfriended those who think I don’t understand that I’m merely a distraction or an option whilst they wait for the one they really want to want them back. But this game of waiting to be chosen or for the social media to become reality is not how dating works. Self worth means you deserve an explanation or just an adult, ‘No thank you’ and move on. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. Not this year!
Don’t be a victim. Sashay yourself out of that orbit and keep your planet wasteman free.
© Chelsea Black 2019