April 24, 2012 by

Dealbreakers part 3


Categories: A-sexy: Etiquette Guide, Latest

A-Sexy D is for dealbreakers part 3

click for part 1 and part 2

10)       Smoking

Now I know that there are two types of smoking but neither of them work for me and many others.

The first type means that you will smell even though you have convinced yourself that it’s not the case. This is because your sense of smell is ruined. It also means that you will act stupidly going outside in the cold or rain for a cigarette. My own smoking career lasted as long as the ban from smoking indoors. I’m more scared of the cold than I am anything else.

Now I know not all smokers are addicted to it. Some it’s an oral fixation. Dude I can think of so many better things you can fix your lips onto. Come let’s make a plan.

The second type of smoking is the weed. I just have no time or respect for it. I know many don’t consider it to be drug and yet the psychotic drug effects on many aren’t a joke. I also just think it makes even the most hyper of people lazier. I don’t see its point or purpose. Weed smokers always have some justification. Some say it’s their religion (sans dreadlocks dude? Still eat pork and I’ve never heard you hum a reggae tune?) others that it’s cultural (you’re Asian from the East Midlands!) and then there are those that just don’t seem to have any real drive or focus. I don’t see how you can smoke regularly and get anything done.  I don’t do it for the munchies weight gain alone and because I need to work. I also don’t have time to delve into the conspiracy theories of groups and world events. I just don’t so stop trying to convince me about the evil that is Blue Ivy.

Ah yes then there is the frequency debate. Don’t think that less than once a day doesn’t mean you don’t smoke too much. If you can’t book a long weekend away cos you’ll miss the weed too much then it’s too much.

I dated a guy who hid that he smoked for 5 years. I caught the odd whiff but these were the days when the pubs let you smoke inside and he was a drinker so I didn’t question it. I find the whole idea of smoking and having to hide it even worse.

Oh and then lighting up after sex? With my linen? Nah mate, that’s not the one. Take your skinny arse outside and show it to the moon. Not in my house.  And then you want to put your lips on my, erm, lips? Not going to happen.

So yes if you smoke let’s keep it moving. There is just no way of making it sexy.

© Chelsea Black

Chelsea Black is a writer. Romantically seeking her Fubo (future boyfriend) she often gets distracted by misadventures. She is currently working on her second book, first baby (sperm to be confirmed) and first real career. Chocolate and cocktails are food groups

2 Responses to Dealbreakers part 3

  1. L@dy in eel$

    I dont smoke and prefer non smokers because of some reasons mentioned above, especially smell, but I have known weed to be a good companion whilst having your garden moistened…

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