Oh Samantha Brick

I was busy writing about Chris Brown and Tweedy Cole but then this name popped up on my timeline and I had go investigate a writer who claimed she wasn’t liked because she was too attractive. Reminds me of Halle Berry on Oprah crying about how hard it was being light skinned and pretty. My heart bled. So who was this Samantha Brick I thought? Was she a new contestant on a reality TV show? No, she is a bona fide writer and journalist.

Samantha Brick has been saying what a lot of women who used to be pretty think…that their looks are the reason no one likes them. It really isn’t. All of my friends are gorgeous. And yet I’m friends with them despite this and every time I meet them I have to stop myself from scratching their eyes out. Because according to Samantha Brick the rest of us are so insecure that we find pretty women intimidating. They’re not intimidating at all unless you are on a beach after having had a baby or both in a 3sum and he’s totally ignoring you and spending all of his time with her….but I digress.

There comes an age when pretty isn’t acceptable anymore. This age is 32 which I’ve decided will be my age for the next 8 years. This doesn’t make me vain or insecure it just means that I know that my target market (men) are scared of women older than this for varying reasons. No after 32 you want to be considered attractive and having lived. A flawless face is suggestive of having work done so instead a few laughter lines, a little extra cheek flesh which is really the start of your jowls and a budda belly are mandatory signs of being a mature woman.

Let me be clear. Samantha Brick is not my kind of pretty. I get it she is slim and she has blue eyes and was the girl who played Mary in the school play whilst I played Casper the nosey one of the 3 wise men. (even then my teachers typecast me) but then there is the low volume blonde hair a smug smile and a neck that suggests 41 might have been her age 7 years ago. She’s the girl that brought all the boys to the yard and didn’t have to bribe them with things from her lunchbox. But she’s older now and just another woman looking to answer the question “why doesn’t anybody like me?” which is the same as the age old question “Why am I still single?”

She reminds me of annoying TV characters Ally McBeal and that one in Grays Anatomy. Also every film that Katherine Heigl has had a leading role in is equally droll. They are annoying and whiney about the misfortune that is their singledom or career. This is because we assume that the writers of all of those characters are used to having gotten by on their looks…until they hit that age where everyone else is married and they go through some sort of existential crisis. And yet they all demand that we take them seriously. How can you? I’m not playing this game anymore.

Some women have built a whole career on being pretty and not very much talent. Tweedy Chav Cole being the prime example and yet Samantha Brick is a writer. Her looks aren’t important to anyone except her and maybe her husband surely?. Could it be that people don’t like her so much because….she goes into evey situation assuming that women won’t like her? Or could it be that she’s a bit of a bitch? I can’t possibly answer that but to go on and say that everyone is jealous of your looks is suggesting that potential friends, colleages and strangers alike are pathetic creatures. And this is where she lets herself down.  Because there always there is a prettier girl that comes onto the scene like Nell in Ally McBeal. And suddenly they are the ones that are feeling insecure. Being pretty can’t be your defining attribute for making friends.

I’m going to put this piece down to a hormonal surge of insecurity brought on by boredom. There is no other explanation for it. Oh and the fact that she lives in France so believes herself to live in a bubble. Sadly twitter doesn’t think so. Or maybe it’s because she writes for the Daily Mail. I can’t help but not be that impressed.

Right, I’m off to write about my stretched out beauty spot on my budda belly. I’ve just realised that this is the reason I don’t have any female friends. Oh wait, I have loads.

One thing we can all agree on is that the dog is cute.  I won’t broker any argument on that!

©Chelsea Black


  1. Great post! Summed it up completely. I am always very wary of women who say other women don’t like them or are jealous of them blah blah…they are often the cause of their own woes.
    She in my opinion is very plain and looks as someone on my twitter said “any Sharon or Tracey down the pub” loooool

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