At 8PM today I decided to re-enter the world of dating.
I know my singirls. Why was I trying this again? This after a 5 year hiatus. Yeah I was so traumatised by the Frogs and Fuckeries that I wrote a book and declared myself dating retired. But, Saturday night in the pandemic and suddenly I felt optimistic. And so I registered back onto a couple of apps.
I only have myself to blame. It’s January and, after reading some romance books and catching up on my BL dramas I suddenly felt ready to try dating again. It was my best friend’s wedding anniversary which shows me love does work. I could do this right? But, are dating apps whack?
10PM and this is what I’ve discovered thus far:
Age ain’t nothing but …
First of all I put my real age on one of the apps. I was not surprised to find that I barely got interest from anyone my age and the interest I did get were from men who had healthy pension portfolios (one would hope) grandchildren and a funeral plan. These men were way older than the 37 on their profiles though.
And yet so many of them are lying ? So when I joined the next app I changed my age and BOOM! I suddenly got a whole heap of interest.
So we know people are ageist and we know everyone lies about their age. Got it!
Registration sucks
I’d forgotten how much I hated dating profiles. You’re meant to sound witty and light and breezy when really you just want someone who isn’t going to piss you off on the daily. Some like e-harmony take over 20 minutes to do whilst others are literally linkable to your Facebook account and whoosh, there you go. I won’t lie, nobody really bothers with their profiles anymore. I suspect everyone has dating war wounds post pandemic.
Star Signs
There are a disproportionate number of Aquarian and Taurean men on the apps. I haven’t worked out what this means but let me be clear, air signs and I will struggle to communicate aka they love to lie. Oh wait, their birthday season is coming up. Now this makes sense.
Want Children
How are you 54, never had children and not sure though Fam? When will you be sure? Why are you still not sure? And yeah, I don’t think this is a cute look on you
Ethnicity
So the app have clocked on that some of us only choose to date certain ethnicities and now this is part of the premium offerings on the apps? As an entrepreneur I’m impressed but, as a dater with very little patience I don’t have the, well patience to troll through a whole heap of men I have no interest in.
First Messages
Wait, people are still sending smiles and emojis and thinking that’s an ice breaker? I can’t. I’m already bored without having to work out your hieroglyphics. My mum says that some people are shy but I think it’s more likely just laziness.
Update
At 10.30PM tomorrow I will be signing off said apps as I have a feeling that 26.5 hours will be as much as I can stomach. Note to self: Maybe 2022 is about re-entering society as opposed to the horror that is more video calls and figuring out how much someone has lied about their age. For those that are still fighting the good dating app fight though, I wish you well.
And on that note …Happy New Year to one and all and here’s hoping your dating journeys are smoother than mine has been so far 😉
I’ve just posted an update less than 24 hours later. Talking to a Libran!
© Chelsea Black® 2022
