4. Everybody’s dead broke
The sad reality is that dating properly can be expensive and as the volume of dating has increased due to the apps so has the budget. I’ve been calling a dating recession since 2013. People are broke out here and don’t want to splash out on dates. I think it’s important to talk about how you are going to split finances on a date to prevent this from getting awkward but the honest situation is that many don’t want to pay for dates. A lot of women think they are entitled to being treated like a princess just because they’re not heinous to look at and men have taken the concept of gold diggers too far. If you’re paying for a Nandos then she ain’t a gold digger fam!
5. It’s all too transactional
Linked to 4, there are many that see dating as a means to an end and often that end is not a relationship. So they put a value on you and the date and decide how ‘worthy’ you are of having money spent on. This links into the feminist who should pay debate. It is nice to be treated but is it necessary, no. If he does go all out and plan something special does that mean you owe him anything? Also no. In the words of the late great Bros, “I owe you nothing”. So beware those men who ask you if it’s going to be worth his time (are you putting out of nah)
Getting someone to meet you is actually harder than one would think considering many just want free sex. Yes, even sex they can’t afford to pay for. So yeah, many will just ask you to pull up at theirs and they’ll host. That is not a date.
6. Dating is dead and only fills a void
A lot of people date because it’s expected of them and they are stuck in the dating cycle of going out on dates then phasing out of dates early and starting all over again. Some are addicted to the rush whilst others literally see dating as a hobby. Something to do over the weekend and report into their friends. Every time I meet a friend they ask me if I’m seeing someone. Then they ask me if I’m trying. I’ve got to have something to report right? Even if I’m not into anyone. So the purpose of dating has been lost.
7. We’ve lost dating etiquette
I think the biggest issue is that we’ve forgotten how to date. We spend too long beforehand having pen pal relationships like they’re off to war and falling in love with how they write instead of who they are. People easily stand you up if they get a better offer for that night because they met someone of Tinder / Grindr / Bumble / Hinge an hour ago who sounds more likely to put out. We stopped communicating what we want and our expectations. We don’t say, “I’m dating with the review to getting into a relationship or marriage”. Instead we pretend that we are ok with casual and undefined relationships and we really aren’t. State your purpose early and if they’re not after the same thing, bounce before you become too invested in their latest pet story.
So what should you do?
Those are the 7 reasons why dating is dead. My advise is that if you are looking for love, stop dating. Dating is dead. Instead look at alternative non pressured ways of meeting people and hope that your paths cross in a non Romeo and Juliet way. Yes this sounds hard for those who like the structure of the dating rules but the honest truth is that these rules need to be rewritten to reflect the socio-economic and technological changes to the dating space. So stop frustrating yourself with swipes and try your hand at surfing instead?
Spring is here so get out there and mingle. This is not an April Fools’s joke.Happy (non) dating!
© Chelsea Black® 2022
