Ever since the death of the soul weekender and festivals being obliterated by the pandemic it’s been even harder to find single Black men in London. You go to events and it’s filled to the brim with amazing *cough* Black women and a smattering of Black men. Many of these men aren’t necessarily the most assertive so often times you don’t even have a conversation let alone get a number. And how are you to know if they’re single?
I did the google search on finding men in London (thanks for nothing Google) and typically it gave me a generic response which I found to be of little to no use. So I decided to research by myself by asking Black Men I knew where best to find them. So here is my ‘7 places to find single Black men in London’ list post Covid and apart from the obvious online. Let me know if there are any others.
- Bars and Clubs
I assumed that post a certain age Black men weren’t frequenting bars and clubs as often. Turns out they are but not in Central London. Gone are the Corks, Hanover Grand days and we are left with bars that are locals. So you need to put on those comfy trainers or uber to Zone 2/3 and beyond. Heels in your bag. Areas in which Black men have lived for a while and therefore are more likely to hang out. Turns out that they don’t want to be ubering so these are typically stumbling distance from residential areas.
Tip: Pick one area and become a regular. There’s absolutely no point going to a place once and hoping that you’re going to meet someone. And if you do tell me where please. Try areas like Croydon, Walthamstow, Chingford, Ladbroke Grove, West of Ealing etc.
So I looked into it and unless you’re in a Black specific area or joining a Black club like Run Dem or We Walk Wednesdays I would suggest that you limit this one. If you’re not sporty then definitely don’t try it. No, the best sport related place to meet Black men is the gym. They loves themselves a gym. And it won’t be your David Lloyds or your post central London gyms necessarily.
Tip: Sign up to one of those 24 hour, no contract gyms locally. Alternatively try going into the City if you want someone in Finance (Canary Wharf or Bank way). Ask for one of those free trial days and don’t go during the day but after work. Be strategic.
Look out for those Black personal development, educational based courses or events that pop up once in a while. You know that there is a similar interest and you can avoid the Hotep ones. There is no group that loves to attend a debate or talk as much as Black men. So go forth and debate.
Tip: A 6 -12 week course run by a Black church or by an organisation such as Black History Studies is probably better than the one off talks where people may be too fired up to flirt. Another good one for events is Black History Walks.
- Church / Mosque
This one is interesting as I’m not sure that this works as well after a certain age but you are looking for someone with a similar faith, right? I’d argue that if you’re over 35 you have to wait for those divorced ones to come find you and you have to be ready to pounce because it’s worse than the fight for the last chicken wing at a family get together.
Tip: Do inter-establishment events and those big retreat / away conferences to spread your bets. I know gambling isn’t the thing to do but, God / Allah blesses those who bless themselves!
- Meetup Groups
So meetup is hit and miss and you need to go into finding a single Black man there with some low expectations. The women can be competitive and everyone is trying to nab any fresh meat that steps into the room. But there are some interesting ones like Sankofa writers group and there used to be Black Sci Fi Book Club which I think died during Covid. Go for things you enjoy but aren’t too girly. Food is always a firm favourite as well as tech based ones.
Tip: The majority of people at meetup are introverts so approach with that in mind. You will have to do a lot of the work to connect and engage them beyond the meetup itself. Also probably best to avoid any with Single in the title. For some reason these seem to be predominantly women,
- Entrepreneurial Networks
Speaking of tech and business, a surprising find is how many Black men are out there trying to side hustle out of their plantations. Yes, there is still a disproportionate level of women to men at events but it’s still worth it and at least you know he’s driven
Tip: Know that if he’s an entrepreneur and very early in the journey you may need to keep your Plantation job for a wee while longer whilst he finds that one big win. Don’t loan him any money though. You’ll never see it again. Also don’t sign anything together until you have signed a marriage license as splitting up a business, especially one that is successful is bloody hard work.
No this one is controversial as every time I’ve gone to a concert it has been to be greeted by a sea of couples. That’s because I love my Soul and RnB. So be strategic and think about which concerts are more likely to be more male fans than female.
Tip: Chances are they’re not going to go for the front row unless it’s a date or he’s a mega fan so get decent seats without breaking the dating budget. Going solo is more likely to get you to talk to people around you. Don’t wear your ‘fuck me’ heels to a standing rap concert. You’ll thank me later.
An honorary mention goes to bookshops and libraries especially business or university libraries. Work from there during the day instead of from home and who knows! Hopefully he’ll be on there instead of on his sofa hoping to find you on Plenty of Fish! And of course if you’re outside London you can apply the same methodology.
© Chelsea Black ® 2023