You know you REALLY like them when …..
Ok just a light hearted one to highlight the joys of meeting and being with someone who treats you with respect and makes you want to get naked all the time. Enjoy!
- You don’t want the date/dinner/ dance to end but you are worried that your breath won’t last much longer
- You find yourself smiling unexpectedly at something silly they said days earlier then trying to explain it to a blank faced colleague. You tail off with, ’You had to have been there.’
- You’ve imagined what you kids could look like. Please note that whilst this is bordering on crazy, writing your married name over and over again, changing your virtual name to theirs or naming your yet to be conceived kids is something you may do but MUST keep to yourself. Trust me, they never see the funny side – Chelsea Giggs.
- They ring and your heart races into your throat. You would think this would make you sound sexy but instead they think you are ill which derails the conversation from why they called.
- You find yourself living room dancing spontaneously because you’re just so damn happy. Please remember to draw the curtains and switch off the uncool music before picking up the phone.
- You’re hanging with someone else but you are thinking about them. (side note – this CAN make mediocre sex better. Don’t be afraid to shut those eyes tight and imagine away. If in doubt stick both hands on your substitutes back as this is less likely to differ that much…unless they are more chubby)
- They don’t call when they were supposed to and it’s like your football team lost the Champions League final (only Arsenal and Man U fans can truly appreciate this reference)
- You can imagine what they will look like when you are both 84. Why is this image always on a porch in the Deep South somewhere (Our children note: no care homes please)
- Every love song or romantic verse reminds you of them. Even the breakup ones which is mildly disconcerting
- You find yourself segueing them into a conversation about something completely different just to talk about them.
- You think something random or profound or really rather boring and can’t wait to share it with them. Try to hold it in.
- They’re coming over and your bedroom looks like one in a hotel. Broke out the good linen because they are worth it eh? (I’ve done this once. It is hardly ever worth it. Save the good stuff for yourself)
- You look at a photo of your celebrity crush and suddenly they just aren’t all that special. This feeling will fade and you and celebrity crush will spend many a day dream together again. So don’t renounce your fan club membership just yet.
- You’re shopping and you see things for them as well as yourself. Don’t get it twisted. A shopping trip will never ever be just about them. But it’s nice you thought of someone else for once.
- You randomly recall a sexy moment you shared and your tummy lurches. This can look quite strange in public. Pass it off as some trapped wind and keep on walking.
- You analyse everything they’ve ever written or said for clues that it was really their way of telling you that you’re special. Them calling you by his exes name is a clue that it may not be you that’s special. Them not calling or writing even less so.
- You think of reasons to hear their voice. They don’t really need to know that the gas man has been and gone do they? Oh but they do.
- Things that would normally be a deal breaker don’t seem to matter anymore.
- You have conversations with them in your head (again, keep this one to yourself Ally McBeal)
- You’re so happy you feel like running, going to work or worse…cleaning. Luckily this lasts about a month.
- They suggest a restaurant or movie that you would normally see as a ‘grab your purse and run’ moment but you find yourself shrugging and thinking, how bad could it be? Pretty bad I reckon. KFC isn’t a restaurant.
- They cancel last minute and you head for the chocolate / alcohol. They’re on their way and you celebrate with chocolate / alcohol. They got home safely so you…yeah, ok.
- You sober dial or text them things that make you cringe when you read them after the break up.
- You dress to be undressed. No sweats or baggy jumpers for this special one.
- You and your friends refer to them in code. They are Operation Theo (Theone) or Project FuBo/Wifey.
That’s it. If anyone ticks 20 of these 25 then I know I’m f**ked and will have to start cancelling other dates but until then…..