X Factor – why Mel B is Scary Spice

I remember when the Spice Girls came out. Well, we are still waiting for Sporty or Posh to come out but that’s a whole other blog (everyone knows that you can’t have a girl or boyband without the obligatory minority one. In NKOTB you have Donnie Wahlberg as the black one. Irish boy bands always have the gay one as technically they are all black the Irish. In Girls Aloud we have Nicola Roberts as the ….unsexualised one. There is always a ginger and a black one which is why Javine was robbed. These are the rules! )

Why Scary ?

Anyhoo I got why ginger was called ginger, baby, baby and sporty erm sporty. She did a black flip and wore tracksuit bottoms. Posh was debatable but I guess a black dress if you were from Essex with shoes that weren’t white WAS posh back then so I forgive that. But the black one was scary? I just didn’t get it. Geri Ginger was a lot more scary to me. I just assumed that for once the Daily Mail had an attack of political correction and realised that calling her Mixed race or black spice may not have gone down too well with new labour.

But some 18 years later I think we all know why Mel B is indeed scary. Anyone that can trick sperm out of Eddie Murphy without him realising it has some supernatural skills. And a woman at that? We all know that Eddie has been caught out by the transgender tricks bless him. But to be caught out by a woman? Maybe he thought she was a bloke. Her voice can sound a bit deep. We will never know.

My question is…has Mel B always been Scary or is this really someone being type cast and becoming what everyone tells her she is. So this weekend when I heard she was being a bitch on X factor I had to see if she had indeed been a bitch. Thanks Uchechi

I think the way she delivers career advice may not be with the sensitivity training of anyone in the public sector or a Guardian reader but she was on point. Comments like, Stop singing! You look like a singer but you don’t sound like one. I was bored. I wanted to fall asleep…..

At least her feelings were clear, right?

I think we have always struggled to brand our black singers in the UK. They can’t just be great singers like in the states. Look at poor Beverly Knight. Still not clear where she fits. Or Alex Burke. I mean please, someone write a branding strategy already! These people have talent. Mel B can’t sing so bitch is probably not a bad brand to have. But Mel does need to be careful. Now that Britain believes itself to be GREAT again post Olympics they will cheer for the underdog more and her brash ‘northernness’ may not go down too well.

But I secretly have a lot of time for Mel B. She is the true definition of GIRL POWER. She chooses what and who she does and seems to do it on her terms. I mean after the Dutch dancer Jimmi G marriage we could so easily have found us in a Britney Spears hair shaving incident but not our Mel. She’s got balls and there’s really not that much scarier to men than a woman that knows and speaks her mind! And a woman that you can’t really pigeonhole.

So on that note, I wanna I wanna I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ah!

© Chelsea Black


  1. I haven’t watched it properly since 2005 when Maria was eliminated prematurely. The Irish Mafia struck hard that year with Louis making a terrible error of judgement. Grrrr. But yes Mel was so bored. That was her just getting paid.

  2. I caught Mel ‘s segment and as someone who doesn’t normally watch the show her part at least made me smile. Great post.

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