Diddy’s Penis Power and Cassie
We’ve spent the last few days being told the horrors Sean ‘P Didddy’ Combs subjected Cassie Ventura to over a 10 year relationship. There is drug abuse, sex trafficking, physical violence sexual violence and abuse as well as grooming and threatening behaviour. None of the violence is new from Diddy but this is the case that could have had a serious impact on his business interests. But alas, money talks and this was settled with the speed of panic. And this is why Diddy’s Penis Power stays winning.
You have a Black Woman (yes she’s mixed race but, 1 drop rule!) who has so many receipts that even his lawyers must have gulped. They settled within 24 hours. Whilst I’m ‘happy’ for Cassie whose experience has been vindicated I can’t help but be disappointed. Disappointed that this wasn’t the case which would start to see the cultural shift away from acceptance of Black Men abusing Black Women just because they can. Penis Power has got to be smashed, stamped on, killed literally.
Diddy’s Penis Power
We are tired of men with a little or a lot of power oppressing others, mainly women. Patriarchy isn’t new but Black Men with the same level of Penis Power as their white counterparts is still relatively new in USian history. Or relatively new to public discourse. Penis Power is the abuse of your male privilege and is common in everyday relationships. But we see how this is amplified when money and status are involved. Penis Power is never used for good. It is always used to oppress those without a penis because how dare they ever think that they are anything other than the vessel through which they can please, entertain and submit to a man?
Why many defend the perpetrator
Weirdly very few commentators have doubted what Cassie states happened. They have suggested that it couldn’t have been that bad for her to have stayed for so long. She was with him from 19 which is typically prime grooming age (14-21). But still the questions asked are, ‘why did she wait so long to come out? Why didn’t she say something when she shaved her head because he’d dragged her and pulled her hair out? And of course why didn’t she leave? Why didn’t she heed the warnings of Kim Porter who endured his wrath for 13 years previously.
The answer is simple: Because we don’t get to tell victims and survivors when they should speak their truth. We don’t dictate how to be a victim or survivor when we know how much of this abuse is emotional, psychological, sexual and financial. How much of the terror is orchestrated to isolate the woman and ensure she doesn’t see a future outside of the relationship without risking her own life.
Defending Penis Power
Also can we move away from this notion that Black Men in power need protecting and nobody can attack them? We saw the same thing with Cosby and R Kelly. It’s tiring. We get it, they’re victims of their own trauma. But that should make them MORE sensitive to not orchestrating pain on others, no? Apparently not.
Couch therapists we are not and the tortures of abuse, how they fuck with Black Women and Girls is not for Community Court. It’s nonsense to still be talking about why she didn’t do something in a time when we all know how abuse works. So step off that narrative. Sadly I’ve seen a few intelligent Black Women on social media do it. Some may be Pick Mes but I suspect the majority have suffered abuse on some level themselves and therefore have had to rationalise their own actions. To the men with opinions which aren’t fully supportive of victims and survivor, go fuck yourselves. We don’t have the patience to watch your half woke, hotep, self hating BS narratives belittle real Black Women’s experiences. British readers will remember my piece on Rodney P. What’s with the P…is this for Penis?
Diddy Penis Power and lawsuits
P Diddy is the king of settling out of court. His lawyers on retainer know that he’s violent, an abuser of women and a lover of drugs. So they make things go away. But this one won’t fully go away because Cassie brought receipts. People will side eye him differently. His money will not be affected and he will continue to be invited into all of the spaces he’s in so for him this wa sa minor inconvenience. Do I think it will mean a floodgate of P Diddy lawsuits? Nah. Most people are too scared of dying to bother going after him and his lawyers. Speaking of dying…
Diddy’s Penis Power and Kim Porter
It is rumoured that Kim Porter was about to go public with the abuse she endured as his partner but then suddenly died of pneumonia. Everyone knows that perpetrators of domestic abuse are the number 1 killers of women who either escape them or expose them. But sadly nobody investigated this death beyond the coroners report. Kim got with then Puffy when she was 24. People have come out stating that she was abused by him incessantly. But this was a time when people were telling women to be grateful and suck it up. To support their abusers because it was hard for them being a Black Man in a White Man’s world. Another example of Diddy’s Penis Power ‘winning’
Listen, Believe and Protect Black Women
So how can we change the outcome? How can we as a community support victims and survivors? How do we embody true Black Love and move away from patriarchal and misogynoirists practises of victim blaming and protecting abusers?
We all know #MeToo was started by a Black Woman (Tarana Burke). She wanted to validate the sexual violence experiences of other Black Girls and Women. Typically they aren’t believed as they are deemed to be precocious and older than they are so ‘asking for it.’
When a Black Woman says a Black Man in power abused her, listen. Then believe her. She is risking her reputation, livelihood and community. Stop excusing these perpetrators of violence, murder and sexual abuse against Black Women’s bodies just because they dropped a decent beat in the noughties. Then protect the same women you claim to love so much. Not just the light skinned, mixed ones who embody your fantasies. Stop hurting them. Your silence or doubt is painful.
Only then can we eradicate the behaviour of Black Men who think penis power is enough for them to terrorise Black female bodies and lives. But this seems to be too much effort for most of you and, that’s why P Diddy’s Penis Power stays winning.
© Chelsea Black ® 2023