Was Kevin Samuels High Value

Last night I was minding my own business when my whatsapp started going crazy. Here’s me thinking there was a 50% sale on or some shit but no,. apparently Kevin Samuels, guru to more Black men than necessary on all things dating and ‘alpha’, had passed away of a suspected heart attack. So as the rumours of his death take over Twitter I am forced to reflect on one of the most controversial relationship ‘experts’ out there and ask myself, was Kevin Samuels high value?

Twitter Deaths

First of all as this death was first notified on Twitter it is still unclear if the dude has passed away or merely been social media killed by the collective that is Black Twitter. Twitter deaths are becoming a thing now where people are killed off instead of just plain cancelled. So is he dead at 56? I dunno. Neither does Twitter. But I’m going to write about him like he is even if he does a Jesus and rises in 3 days.

Who is Kevin Samuels?

What was interesting about the news of his death is that there were 3 camps of response. Those who were devastated and sad, those who were gleeful and those who didn’t know who he was. For those who didn’t know who he was Kevin was an image consultant / relationship expert who had a successful Youtube career where he basically told mainly Black women but a few Black men about themselves and put them in their sociological lane. If you were overweight, poor, over 35 and had children you were dating doomed by Brother Kevin. So, realising how much the misogynoir got him views he ramped it up.

The Problem with a High Value Kevin Samuels

I haven’t written on Kevin before as, like Steve Harvey and so many others before him, I’m not a follower of coaches who basically shame Black women or focus on attributes. We need to move away from the whole, ‘what do you bring to the table?’ conversation which is usually racist, ableist, ageist and constructed to tear down women’s confidence wherever possible. Most of these things are not changeable therefore there is little room for coaching on subjects that individuals can’t change about themselves. E.g. height, race, age.

Why was he adored?

The reason Kevin was so adored is that he gave them a plausible excuse for their inability to find love. It’s not because you’re a wasteman. No, it’s because these women don’t deserve you. You think alpha men with money were watching his Youtube for tips? Nah. It’s those middle management ones who want the secret into tricking women into situationships. There’s very little in his videos on being in a relationship. Instead he focuses on just mansplaining to them why they are not in a relationship and probably won’t be because all men judge by some skewed standard.

What he did well?

Don’t get me wrong, the man wasn’t 100% wrong and there was something in some of what he said about being realistic when dating. I don’t agree on his measures of success but I do agree that there are plenty of men and women out there who seek perfection and excellence in others even when they don’t demand that of themselves. Checking this isn’t a bad thing. We have all been so embroiled in fairy tales and Hollywood that we forget that most of the princesses who got the prince didn’t actually live happily ever after. They lived happily until the end of the credits.

I also don’t think there is anything wrong with a relationship expert who has been married before. He faced a lot of challenge over his past relationships and if he had spoken more on relationships as opposed to getting someone you ‘deserve’ then I may have had more time for him. Watching his earlier videos I can see that he typically switched schtick when it became apparent he had hit on viral gold. And as a business man with little conscious, nobody can hate him for that. He just should have done a better job of not attacking a small group of women for clout.

So was Kevin Samuels High Value?

The short answer is no. Kevin Samuels spewed out the same old tired opinions on what value is which were typically superficial (beauty/ size / height) and shaming (having children, low income). Sadly more people bought into this than didn’t.

Let’s face it we have seen this play out before in Pick Up Artist and Red Pill Culture. It’s the need to refocus men’s anger towards their inability to sustain relationships. Most are forgetting that relationships and dating are not the same thing. Look inwards Fam! Chances are the problem is with you and not with her.

Here’s wishing Kevin Samuels and all his followers a stay blessed. It’s never nice when someone you look up to passes on. In this circumstance he was never given the opportunity to evolve his thinking into something that cohered the community.

What’s next for Kevin Samuel Fans?

This does however create a gap for those who have other ideologies to gain new recruits. Typically I suspect that most will fall deeper into Black Pill culture and away from anything that resembles respect and unconditional love for their partner. As the world goes into a recession the chances of their being a move toward love is limited. People have to push past their own limiting self-beliefs and focus on what really matters in a relationship. Someone who shares your values, can communicate and brings you peace in your home.

Here’s hoping they lift Black people up instead of being divisive.

Happy relationship coaching!  

© Chelsea Black® 2022