What is Toxic Masculinity?
Types of toxic masculinity in dating is the foundation of domestic abuse such as coercive control, misogyny and mental abuse. However some types of toxic masculinity are more subtle and need to be addressed to ensure that both parties are feeling loved and flourishing in the relationship.
Toxic masculinity refers to harmful behaviors and attitudes that are often associated with traditional male roles but can negatively impact relationships and well-being. When dating, it’s important to be aware of certain types of toxic masculinity that can create unhealthy dynamics. Here are 11 types of toxic masculinity in dating to watch out for:
1. Emotional Suppression
Often seen as just being a man, emotional suppression is a massive red flag. A lot of women watch dramas and see the cold CEO or stoic hero and think this is the ideal. Nope, women need someone who can express their feelings within a relationship.
- Signs: Difficulty expressing emotions, reluctance to show vulnerability, or dismissing your emotions as unimportant.
- Impact: This can lead to emotional disconnect and prevent meaningful communication in the relationship.
2. Aggressiveness and Dominance
Don’t buy into that roid rage / testosterone malarky. Any man that resorts to violence, aggression and their physical strength in dating isn’t ready to be in relationship. Urge then to seek help and get out as soon as possible. If you are struggling then there are charities that help support women who need it
- Signs: Controlling behavior, frequent anger or outbursts, and a need to assert power in the relationship.
- Impact: This can create an unsafe and intimidating environment, where one partner dominates the other.
3. Entitlement and Control
Nobody likes a mansplainer or someone who thinks that they know more than you and should be able to determine what happens because of their gender.
- Signs: Expecting to make all the decisions, not respecting your boundaries, or believing they have a right to your time and body.
- Impact: This can lead to a lack of mutual respect and autonomy in the relationship.
4. Hypersexuality
At the beginning of a relationship we all expect the heat to be heating but there are times when this goes beyond that.
- Signs: Pressure to engage in sexual activities, equating self-worth with sexual conquest, or disregarding your comfort and consent.
- Impact: This can result in an unhealthy, one-sided sexual relationship, where your needs and boundaries are not respected.
5. Disdain for Femininity
The number of men who don’t like women very much is growing. It’s part of the Andrew Tate, Incel, Red Pill agenda where women and femininity are seen as less than but at the same time they want women who are completely submissive. Math ain’t mathing.
- Signs: Devaluing traits or activities considered “feminine,” ridiculing emotions, or being dismissive of women’s issues.
- Impact: This can foster a relationship built on inequality and disrespect for your identity and experiences.
6. Emotional Manipulation
Types of toxic masculinity when dating I’ve already talked about include trauma bombing, love bombing, gaslighting and general manipulation.
- Signs: Guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or using emotional outbursts to control or confuse you.
- Impact: This erodes trust and makes it difficult to maintain a healthy, honest relationship.
7. Fear of Commitment
Commitment phobes are boring af. Why get into a relationship but not want to commit. Wastemen of the nth degree.
- Signs: Avoidance of labeling the relationship, reluctance to discuss the future, or keeping options open by flirting with others.
- Impact: This can lead to uncertainty and instability in the relationship, making it hard to build a strong bond.
8. Rigid Gender Roles
Toxic masculinity when dating suggests that every man is the leader. House work and childcare are the responsibility of the woman etc. In modern society this doesn’t always make sense and some men struggle to break free from these 50 year old traditional gender roles.
- Signs: Expecting you to conform to traditional roles, like being the primary caretaker or homemaker, while they assume the role of provider. If only they could all provide!
- Impact: This limits the flexibility and equality in the relationship, potentially leading to resentment and dissatisfaction.
9. Jealousy and Possessiveness
Anyone that suspects you of cheating without just cause is either cheating themselves or thinking about it Don’t let them bring their old relationship nonsense baggage.
- Signs: Excessive monitoring of your actions, being suspicious without reason, or getting angry when you spend time with others.
- Impact: This can create a suffocating relationship where trust is eroded, and independence is stifled.
10. Lack of Accountability
Being a child and expecting you to parent them is a clear type of toxic masculinity when dating. They will manipulate you with their childish behaviour and exhaust you.
- Signs: Refusing to apologize, shifting blame, or downplaying harmful behavior.
- Impact: This prevents growth and resolution of conflicts, leading to ongoing issues in the relationship.
11. Dismissal of Mental Health
I think everyone should be in therapy especially at the beginning of a relationship or at the end of a long one. So don’t ever downplay the important of a healthy mind and emotional wellbeing.
- Signs: Downplaying the importance of mental health, refusing to seek help, or mocking therapy and self-care.
- Impact: This can discourage you from addressing your own mental health needs and can prevent a partner from seeking help when needed.
Being aware of these signs can help you identify unhealthy patterns early on in a relationship. It’s important to communicate openly and set clear boundaries to maintain a healthy and respectful partnership. Both parties also have to be open to changing and growing together.
Let’s smash some of these gendered toxic behaviours when dating. See toxic femininity for more.
© Chelsea Black ® 2024
