Tis the season to meet a narcissist: 10 ways to spot a narcissist
With all the Christmas get togethers and pressure to date this December you will be hard pressed NOT to trip and fall onto a narcissists. Tis the season to meet a narcissist because they love to hunt for new prey. Here are 10 ways to spot a narcissist
1. They’re Always the Victim
Listen closely to their stories about past relationships, work conflicts, or friendships. Are they always the one who was wronged? A narcissist will often paint themselves as the victim to garner sympathy and deflect accountability. It’s never their fault and their victim game is strong. They love to trauma bomb you hard as well.
2. They’re Obsessed with Their Image
They’re not just taking the occasional selfie; they’re curating an entire narrative of perfection. From their Instagram grid to the way they name-drop, it’s all about maintaining an idealized version of themselves. Beware the name drop this season because it’s easy to make out that a brief DM conversation on instagram is a friendship
3. They Struggle with Genuine Praise for Others
If you mention someone else’s achievements, watch how they react. They will look disappointed. A narcissist might dismiss, downplay, or quickly steer the conversation back to themselves. Celebrating others doesn’t fit their narrative of being the star.
4. They’re Overly Competitive
Whether it’s a casual board game or comparing career achievements, they need to win. A narcissist thrives on superiority and will often frame every interaction as a competition.
5. They Avoid Vulnerability
While they might pry into your deepest fears or insecurities, they’ll dodge any attempts to open up about their own. If you feel like you’re in an emotional monologue rather than a dialogue, it’s a red flag.
6. Their Apologies Are Hollow
When they do apologize, it’s usually followed by excuses or a way to shift the blame: “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t…” Genuine accountability isn’t their strong suit.
7. They Have a ‘Fan Club’
Look out for their entourage—a group of admirers who hang on their every word. Narcissists often surround themselves with people who validate their ego, and they might expect you to join the fan club too. However check how long their fans have been fanning. Tis the season to meet a narcissist and for narcissists to recruit new members to their fan club. Brief fans aren’t a good measure.
8. They Exploit Your Empathy
Narcissists are experts at identifying kind, empathetic people and using those traits to their advantage. If you find yourself feeling guilty for setting boundaries or saying no, they might be manipulating your compassion. Be careful if you’re a natural fixer or an empath. They’ll trauma bomb then orbit you for months.
9. Their Stories Lack Depth
While they may have plenty of anecdotes, their stories often lack authenticity. Everything sounds rehearsed, exaggerated, or overly dramatic. Real people have messy, imperfect stories—narcissists curate theirs for maximum impact.
10. They Demand Excessive Attention
Whether it’s through grand gestures or subtle guilt trips, a narcissist craves being the center of your universe. If you start to feel like your life is being eclipsed by theirs, take a step back.
By watching for these behaviors early on, you can protect yourself from getting entangled in their web. Remember: it’s not your job to fix or heal anyone. You deserve a partner who meets you on equal, respectful terms.
Happy December Dating!
© Chelsea Black ® 2024
