The unadventurous adventurer

Sexually adventurous has by it’s over use become redundant.  I remember when tattoos and piercings were considered signs of an adventurous nature. In fact my parents said that they were signs of promiscuity when I was growing up. I now have both. Nearly everyone I meet has some ink or piercing. I actually love discovering a body that hasn’t been marked or tarnished. It’s like a rare archaeological discovery. Especially dark, smooth, oily skin with hard muscles and the scent of shea cocoa butter but… I digress.

So, are you Adventurous?

As you know from my piece on stupid questions men ask I hate this question. You really can’t win no matter how you answer it. When asked this I now answer with “When inspired by an amazing person with integrity, intuition and references, yes.”  I don’t go into a feminist rant about men objectifying women. Instead I ask them what’s the most adventurous thing they’ve done? Because let’s face it, none of us are adventurous all of the time. That just sounds exhausting. When they’ve stumbled over the usual public places, anal and some light BDSM I usually yawn.  Have we lost the meaning of what adventurous really means?

I would argue that to be labelled adventurous is to be somewhat boring and predictable. I don’t think a 3sum or being tied up is particularly adventurous. There are instructional videos, courses and books on both subjects which tell you how to do them safely. Tying him up and going shopping for 3 hours, maybe, but you being tied up like a Christmas turkey whilst he fiddles about trying to find your G spot with a feather? If he can’t find your G spot under normal conditions (lights on, you holding his hand and guiding it to your G spot) then what makes him think this is going to be any more satisfying.  You can’t even direct him with a gag in your mouth. This is like sex on the beach. Looks great on film but there’s an awful lot of fiddling around with sand in your pants afterwards.

To me adventurous would be someone who was uninhibited and enthusiastic, spontaneous and open to new things. Not someone who re-enacts something porn based or they read in a book. And for women to be adventurous we have to be ….inspired. Not every man will bring out your freaky side. Oh and violence is not adventurous. It’s just painful.

I spent one relationship with a guy who wanted to get me into a 3sum with his friend’s ex girlfriend. It wasn’t a fantasy it was a fixation. She was an annoying cow and his accusation to me was…you’re not adventurous enough. Forget that we had once had sex with me in a headstand. (Don’t try this at home kids, I had a headache for days.) But I didn’t care. The fact that I hadn’t woken up the neighbours in the whole time we were together suggested he wasn’t that adventurous either.

Their question really is, “are you going to let me do all the filthy things I want to do?” So my question to guys is…are you adventurous? Do you let your imagination run wild and do you inspire women to be uninhibited.? And will you let them do all the filthy things they want to do? Chances are, not. So think about it and stop asking us that bloody question!

© Chelsea Black