The Crazy Wait

The Crazy Wait

I recently got sent this text conversation (thanks @chicbeautyblog)  between a girl who had slept with a guy called Kevin and then texts him asking him out again. She then text stalked him as well as waiting outside his house to see him and…yes it got pretty crazy.

I was in tears of laughter and just couldn’t believe that any girl was that crazy and then I remembered….the waits, the crazy why am I still here waits! These are a phenomena the modern man has created to drive normal woman into screaming banshees. I’ll give you a few examples. Please my precious submit these as evidence if ever I’m arrested for some crazy incident where some guy has made me wait too long. Something tells me this may happen sooner that we think

1)      Snowed in?

We had been emailing and texting for months. You know the types of texts you wouldn’t really want your mother to see. What can I say he was big. Then,  when finally the opportunity to travel up north….well north of Watford came up for work we agreed to meet. I told him where I was staying he told me that he could meet me there at a restaurant nearby and so I went. It was a snowy day and I trekked through the snow to get to the restaurant. Ok, the pavements were cleared and the snow alerts were for the next day but any chance of a bit of dramatic nostalgia had to be taken, right?

I get a text saying he’s stuck in a meeting. At 8pm? My my how the public sector has changed. I order a drink…..and 3 courses later he still hasn’t arrived and the texts are getting more worryingly ambiguous. I order mint tea after mint tea whilst the wait staff give me those pitying looks and start clearing up around me. Then I get the sorry text. He wasn’t coming. I’m still not sure what the better offer was but why put me through the wait of shame game. It’s only fun for the person who doesn’t turn up. And I wasn’t even in London where I would have sought solace in a late night Soho shop.

2)      Surprise

I’ve mentioned him before but the one who was so hot and heavy then sent me a text on my birthday saying he was on his way to the club. That was 3 -4 years ago. All I can say is that’s some messed up traffic around the Hendon area. I sent him a text the next day as I assumed he was in a hospital somewhere and would be in need of some grapes. He sent me a sad face back. Seriously you couldn’t even be bothered to explain you just emoticonned your way out of that one? And yes I’ve decided that emoticonning is now verbalicious. It is not something that a man over 25 should use to express an apology. Turns out the Mrs suspected he was up to no good. And I found out that he had a Mrs. Might have been nice for him to mention that in his poetical late night conversations.

3)      Silence

You have a date and it was good. Maybe even better than good.  This is rare my precious so you can’t help but hope he’s not going to turn into a twat and not call. You are assured that you are going to hear from them again and then…silence.  Your friends who are also single and prone to advice that is really sabotage say that you should call him because after all aren’t we modern women who read cosmo. But you know that if you call him then he would accuse you of being too clingy and not giving him space. Men and space.  Buy a bigger place if you want frigging space.

One did this to me and then tried to start chatting to me AGAIN on the site we had met on a year later. I don’t even think I had changed my profile pictures. I was like, dude we’ve already been out and he was like, Oh! Yeah you’re right! So why didn’t you call me sis! Because my brother you said you would call. You know they are scraping for excuses when they try adding a sis in there.  The old switcheroo, it’s on you move.

So after a rethink I can see why some women flip. It’s not you and your crimes MY BROTHERS. No you are just the last dick that broke that poor girls spirit and did something stupid like make her wait at Victoria station in winter for 45 minutes whilst you posed in the mirror at some gym somewhere. What is wrong with people. England is cold!

The good thing is that it is temporary insanity when they do flip. Now I don’t bother to wait. 20 minutes without a text and I’m onto the next thing. 3 days postdate without a call/ text or pigeon dropping for a sign and I assume that you’ve tripped and fallen into a hole somewhere else.  Because we know that all that waiting isn’t because you are trying to make yourselves look pretty for us. No, it’s because another one of your options popped up.

When this happens to you ladies call a friend or better yet a backup. No woman should only be seeing one man when there is a risk that he is going to make you wait.  Call that friend and let them talk you off the crazy text / call you REALLY want to make. Because once you are labelled crazy there is very little you can do. Also texts are screen saved so you may find your crazy broadcast on a Timeline near you.

Happy Dating!

© Chelsea Black

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