To read the first piece done written last June please click here!
So I wrote this last June and I never got a call back. I don’t think the last time the photographer saw me he thought he could photoshop out Maxine Saj, my Budda Belly. She’s a fighter bless her, I’ll give her that!
Pity because I had practised poses which hid Maxine perfectly. These were mainly me with my back to the camera or lying on my belly but, at least I had thought about it. Here’s another example of poses I had perfected. I still hadn’t managed to work out how to pull a sexy face without looking like I was constipated but, photoshop?
I also lost my gym membership and therefore pint sized Tia. I did manage to go 3 times this time which is a gym membership record as I hate gyms. Ok I cancelled it. I’m seriously allergic to the mirrors, unnatural equipment (About 20 minutes on the cross trainer. Cross training across what, chick? I don’t get it!) and those guys in the corner grunting and indulging in their homoerotic body worship.Ok those gym guys would be worth the membership if they could talk about anything else other than what they eat and repetitions and weights. You lost me on no alcohol my lovely. We have nothing else to talk about.
After an awkward incident where I was made to eat my fish sans Hollandaise sauce, Jamel fell in love so lets me eat what I want. Linda is on her way to coupledom too, Donna has a real job and Aloe Vera juice is really not that tasty. I stick to cranberry juice, the occasional 10KM run and denying myself sweet stuff when I think things are getting out of hand. That’s you Maxine
The thing is that no matter what they say about loving you for you I love me more when my body is looking fabulous. I also love sex more so there’s nothing for it but for me to look fabulous to feel sexy. I’ve also noticed that my sex drive is much higher when I’m exercising and not planning reasons to have KFC.I don’t mind getting on top for fear of squashing the poor victim and I’ll even give the odd lapdance if inspired. (please note that the music selection isn’t negotiable. Leave my itunes alone)
So the sex etiquette is simple. Feel better, feel fabulous, f*ck better. Fancy dress also looks so much better without a bulging belly.
Alas winter is over and the coat has to come off eventually….I’m going to have to go for the body reveal sooner or later. Which reminds me, time for that run.
@ Chelsea Black A-Sexy
I can just so identify with every word of this…
lol . brilliant, xxx
I am fundamentally lazy and don’t believe in preventative methods of keeping fabulous clearly. Gyms are evil places 😉
Great post! I agree my sex drive went through the roof when I was going to the gym regularly. The gym hasn’t seen me since 2010 though….
My no sex weight coincides with my wanting to beat up tourists on the streets of London weight. There’s VERY few pounds in it