So as you know I’ve recently had a crush on a guy I sort of know but have been flirting with for ages. You know me my precious I fall hard and quick with no thoughts to the consequences or his feelings. My view is of course he likes me. I’m adorable on a good day with lots of sleep, makeup and the advantages of staged lighting. (I would like to thank Cher and Dee from Clueless for those valuable scenes on lighting)
So after one great telephone conversation where I concluded that we were totally destined to be together supported by my psychic I was shocked when I didn’t hear back from him. Hmmmm there was a point in the conversation where I heard him softly say “Oh Lord” at what he thought was me being a bit of a spoiled princess but that just makes me more loveable, right?
Regardless of this minor set back we had a vague date set and I waited impatiently for a week before nudging him with a text. I got a one word response back. I then called him a week after that and left a Monica from Friends style “light and breezy” message. Still not response. One more text and I’ve had to concede defeat. This is not my FuHu (Future Husband). My FuHu knows how important communication is to me and would never ever pull a silence of these proportions without wild sex and slamming doors first. Yes I know him that well.
What had happened in the week since our conversation? I decided that it was one of a few options and as I wasn’t dating anyone else I allowed my imagination to stray from reality somewhat
His evil ex girlfriend came back to collect the rest of her budget High Street clothes. She would have been better burning the lot but instead when she got there she realised that he has that misty eyed look of a man in lust with someone else and instead attacked him Pink “Please Don’t Leave Me” style and he’s now trapped in his home unable to call me.
He thought about our conversation and realised that he wasn’t worthy of being my FuHu until he had made himself a millionaire. He is now in some serious training programme to get rich quick and support me in the lifestyle he thinks I’ve become accustomed to. He has taken a solemn vow of silence until he reaches his desired income level and can buy me that home in South Kensington I so want.
He’s seeing someone else and unlike most men can’t multitask by text message only be flirtatious. This is the most likely but seriously I don’t understand why she isn’t all over his Facebook like I am. It’s the girlfriend thing to do right?
He’s just not that into me. I had to add this one in to seem to be modest. But I seriously don’t believe that I could be that wrong about him.
So my real question is how do I find out where he lives and free him from the clutches of that New Look narcissist? No man should have to suffer having to look at leopard print stretch jeggings all day.
© Chelsea Black