Rebecca Cheptegei: How Women Can Stay Safe from Domestic Abuse
It’s taken a couple of days to write this one as it’s so upsetting. In yet another heartbreaking incident, Uganda and Africa has lost a beloved daughter, Rebecca Cheptegei, to the all-too-familiar scourge of domestic abuse. Rebecca Cheptegei, tragically met her end at the hands of a former boyfriend. Her untimely death has left a nation grieving and once again spotlighted the pressing issue of domestic abuse. As we mourn the loss of a vibrant woman whose future was full of promise, we must also confront the harsh realities that too many women face every day.
Domestic abuse doesn’t just happen in the shadows—it happens to women across all walks of life, regardless of wealth, status, or education. And while we may not know all the details surrounding Rebecca’s tragic death, her story reminds us that domestic abuse can strike even in seemingly perfect households. And what we don’t want is more honouring of lives in death when domestic abuse needs to be stopped. I’m not convinced naming a stadium after her is the right response.
So, how can women protect themselves? How can we break free from the cycle of silence and make sure our sisters, daughters, and friends are safe? There are no fail safe ways of avoiding domestic abuse as toxic masculinity rises but there a few things to look out for.
1. Know the Signs Early On
Most relationships don’t start with abuse. It often begins subtly, with control and manipulation masquerading as care. If a partner tries to isolate you from family and friends, monitors your phone, or constantly criticizes you, these are all early signs of abusive behavior. It’s easy to excuse these red flags, but let’s be real—love doesn’t hurt, control isn’t love, and your well-being should always come first. Stay visible and connected to the people that cared for you before the relationship. If your family or friends are toxic then make sure that you are connecting in networks or at work so people are always keeping an eye out for you.
2. Have a Safety Plan
If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, it’s crucial to have a plan. The most dangerous time for survivors is when they leave an abusive partner. Have a financial safety pot if possible. Talk to trusted friends, neighbors, or family members. Know where you can go in case things escalate. Memorise the number of local hotlines or shelters, and don’t hesitate to use them. A plan isn’t about admitting defeat; it’s about staying alive.
3. Trust Your Intuition
Society often teaches women to downplay their instincts, to make peace at any cost. But if something doesn’t feel right, trust that feeling. If you feel unsafe, it’s for a reason. The hardest thing sometimes is acknowledging that someone we love may not have our best interests at heart, but your intuition can often see things your heart is too blinded by love to acknowledge.
4. Lean on Your Support Network
Abusers thrive on isolation. They’ll try to pull you away from the very people who could help you, but maintaining those relationships is critical. Stay connected with your friends and family, and let them in on your situation. Even if you feel embarrassed or ashamed, remember that people who love you will want to help. Culturally this can vary and some families do not provide the safe space you need. If so, reach out to other networks.
5. Speak Out
We have to talk about domestic violence more openly. It’s not a “private matter” or something to be swept under the rug. If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, don’t wait for them to ask for help. Approach them gently, ask if they’re okay, and offer your support without judgment. Sometimes, that’s all they need to take the next step toward safety.
6. Get Professional Help
There are resources available for women in abusive situations, from legal advice to emotional support. If you’re able, seek out professional help—whether that’s therapy, counseling, or support from a domestic violence organisation. These services can provide you with the tools and guidance needed to navigate what often feels like an impossible situation.
7. Know It’s Not Your Fault
This may seem like a no-brainer, but abusers have a way of twisting reality. They’ll make you feel like you’re the cause of the problem, like you deserve the abuse. Let’s be clear: you don’t. Abuse is never the victim’s fault. No matter what you said, did, or didn’t do, no one deserves to be mistreated.
A Call to Action
Rebecca Cheptegei’s death is more than just a headline—it’s a call to action. Too many women have been silenced, too many lives have been cut short because we didn’t act sooner, didn’t speak out, or weren’t heard. Domestic abuse thrives on silence and inaction. We need more education, stronger legal protections, and a society that doesn’t turn a blind eye to the suffering of women behind closed doors.
For those reading this who may be in a dangerous situation, please know: there is a way out. You don’t have to do it alone. Resources and people are available to help you.
For the rest of us, we must continue to listen, to support, and to stand up against domestic abuse. Rebecca’s death should not be in vain. Her story should ignite change—so that the next woman’s story doesn’t have to end in tragedy.
Stay safe, loves. Always.
Let’s keep the conversation going, and remember, you are never alone.
Support and Resources (UK-Based)
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence in the UK, these organizations can offer help and guidance:
- Women’s Aid
A national charity working to end domestic abuse against women and children. They provide support, information, and the tools to escape abusive situations.
www.womensaid.org.uk
24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247 - Refuge
Refuge supports women and children who experience domestic violence by offering safe houses and support services.
www.refuge.org.uk
24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247 - Solace Women’s Aid
A London-based charity that offers a wide range of services for women and children who are survivors of domestic abuse and sexual violence.
www.solacewomensaid.org
Advice line: 0808 802 5565 - Rights of Women
Provides free and confidential legal advice on domestic abuse and family law issues, so that women can make informed decisions about their next steps.
www.rightsofwomen.org.uk
Legal Advice Line: 020 7251 6577 - Victim Support
An independent charity providing emotional and practical support to victims of crime, including domestic violence.
www.victimsupport.org.uk
24/7 Supportline: 08 08 16 89 111
Support and Resources (US based)
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233
- Women’s Shelters and Safe Houses (local resources)
- Counseling Services for Domestic Abuse Survivors
© Chelsea Black ® 2024
