It’s the start of week 3 and it’s time for some Married at First Sight UK Predictions. In true Brexit themed fashion I’m going to go with who should leave and who should remain! Spoiler alert! Brexit is still happening.  

  1. Chanita and Jordan

Remain: I think they can go the distance if she can put up with the fact that he’s not always the brightest bulb in the world. They’re both nice people and have a lot in common though and that’s a strong start. They’re the Adam and Tayah of this season.

Leave: There’s a lot of work needed. Adrian seems like the grown up so I’m guessing he’ll get tired of the theatrical diva antics and trigger-happy temper tantrums that have been Tom to date. Adrien shouldn’t allow anyone to speak to him the way Tom does but, hey ho, it’s for the ratings, right?

Leave: I’m hoping Zoe escapes this one and finds herself someone who is a complete person and isn’t performing hipsterism at its worst. She’s your typical stud and seems like a happy person in life. Jenna less so and the sanctimonious vegan thing is beyond hipsta annoying. Get yourself a goodun Zoe who adores you and doesn’t try to change you. Eat the Reindeer next time!

Remain: This is so painful to watch. He’s a child. She’s childish in relationships and doesn’t communicate. She doesn’t want to be love bombed but he’s trying his best. I’m going to go with a reluctant Remain even though I don’t think it will last long. Lara doesn’t seem healed and Richie doesn’t seem like he knows life that much yet.

Leave: April is my least favourite passive aggressive character in the show. She thinks she’s smarter than everyone else and can bluff her way through anything. She’s also only here to feather her career which I’m sure will be loads of TV work moving forward. George, aka Jude Law, has 4 children and needs to grow a backbone. April crying and fanning her tears is the worst high school acting I’ve seen since I was in high school and played Ole Sally in Oliver Twist.

Leave: OK so Jess wanted a man to take care of her and she got PJay, a stripper who has a son and is living at home with his mum and seems to have lost any umph about him as she withholds affection and friendzones. PJay is being a simp and given the mediocrity that is Jess it’s not making sense. They could turn it around with sex though so I’m torn. I’m going with a reluctant leave as nobody should be made to feel as shitty as PJay has over the fact that he’s a hobosexual.

Leave: I think he isn’t into her, wants to be Kevin Samuels and that he’ll piss her off with some nonsense in the not too distance future. Rumours are an affair with Whitney as they are both fame whores but, Whitney likes Kasia her girl too much to do her that dirty, right? Kasia is also a great example of why many alpha women end up alone.

Leave: And finally poor Duka who has been paired up with the wicked witch of the west aka Whitney. They’re going to try a whole redemption arc with them but I was over her at the hen party. Nobody expects Duka to be the same 24/7 and if he’s doing it for fame and p**sy too then, whatever. But at least he’s not unpleasant to everyone and a bitch to be around.

So that’s 6 Leave and 2 Remain. I’m actually hopeful that some of the others will work like, I dunno PJay and Jess and George and April. But as the fame whoring is so very strong in this series my money is on most of these marriages not working so that they can all join Celebs Go Dating next season. Well played Paul Carrick Brunson, well played Channel 4.

© Chelsea Black® 2022

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