How to Date During World War 3
by Chelsea Black
Look, I didn’t want to write this blog. I wanted to be sipping something strong with a questionable man in Barbados or Zanzibar, ghosting him before the second round of mocktails. But alas, here we are, adjusting our wigs and waistlines in preparation for World War Bloody 3.
Dating during a world war? Sounds mad. But so was dating during Covid and somehow some of you still found time to get married, divorced, and re-infected. But before you pour your last Henny and text your ex, let’s talk about survival dating or how to date during World War 3.
1. Date Local, Like Chicken Shop Local
Gone are the days of train strikes being your biggest transport issue. Now it’s about rationed petrol, suspicious drones, and that TfL voice saying “services are suspended until further notice.” Long-distance loves? Over. If your date isn’t within a bus ride or two night buses max, they’re a liability not a lover.
This is your sign to finally swipe right on that decent one from down the road. He might not be Idris, but if he’s got hot water, a charged phone, and knows the local Morley’s or Nandos opening hours, he’s basically wartime husband material.
2. Getting Covid Déjà Vu? That’s Because It’s Giving… Lockdown 3.0
Let’s not pretend we haven’t been here before. Remember when everyone was boo’d up by week three of lockdown, living off banana bread and lies? The same energy is creeping in. You’ve matched twice, spoken once, and now he wants to move in “just in case”? Nah. Be vigilant. Not everyone who offers to share rations has pure intentions. Expect the remix. That man you just met on Hinge now wants to “ride this wave together.” The audacity. It’s giving high level hobosexual.
That said, sharing resources might not be the worst idea. Just vet properly. Be smart. Ask the real questions before you let anyone stay over “just in case.”
- Do you have a Costco card?
- Can you cook without Deliveroo?
- Can you build a fire? Do you have a garden in which to build a fire?
- Have you got backup data?
Shared resources are sexy when done right. Don’t let desperation turn your front room into Love Island: Apocalypse Edition.
3. Holiday How? Just Sit Down.
Some of you are still holding onto hopes of Dubai in December. Babes. Wake up. Flights are dodgy, borders are tense, and no one needs you trying to vlog from a beach while the rest of us are ducking power cuts.
It’s time to get creative with local romance. Peckham Rye picnics, balcony BBQs, Brixton rooftop linkups — romance is a mindset. You don’t need Disneyland when you’ve got vibes, a playlist, and an M&S dine-in-for-£12.
And if you must travel, make it no further than the next postcode. Bonus if you can get there on a Lime bike.
4. Support Local, Eat Local — Order with Intention
No shade, but now is not the time to be ordering £30 sushi from Zone 5. Instead, support your local Black-owned takeaway or that Caribbean spot you kept saying you’d try.
Food is foreplay, and nothing says “I’m serious about this situationship” like surprising them with jollof from down the road. Bonus points if you both get the same thing and eat over FaceTime like it’s 2020 again.
If they can’t appreciate the beauty of a good pepper soup, they’re not the one.
5. Pick a Survivalist, Not a Conspiracist
We’ve all got that one cousin who thinks the Queen’s a clone and WW3 is a distraction from 5G. You do not want to date their romantic equivalent. It’s cute until he’s hoarding canned beans and shouting about “the real truth” on Telegram.
Choose the person who knows where the torches are, not the one shouting “wake up, sheeple” on WhatsApp. Look for calm, competent energy. Someone who’s got candles and emotional stability. Tall order, but they exist. Look for practical skills, not paranoia. If he says “the truth is out there,” let him stay out there.
6. Love Like There’s No Wi-Fi Tomorrow
Honestly? This might be the most emotionally available era we’ve ever had. People are shook. Vulnerable. Texting back quickly. Take advantage. But don’t mistake urgency for intimacy.
Yes, things feel intense. But don’t get caught up in the wartime wooing just because he wrote you a poem and made you a hot Ribena. Vet properly. Love loudly, but with discernment.
And remember: some of the most beautiful love stories were born in chaos. Just ask your grandparents.
But take a breath, consult your therapist (or a friend with sense), and keep your head on even if the missiles aren’t. Kiss passionately. Text back faster. But still, don’t send nudes with your face in them. Some rules are eternal.
7. Dating Apps Are Booming (So Are Catfish)
The apps are poppin’ off — everyone’s inside, bored, and thirsty. Which means you’ll be seeing more “sapiosexuals” and gym bros than ever before. But beware: catfish are thriving in these uncertain times.
He says he’s 6’4”, working in Intelligence, and “can’t video call right now.” Translation? He’s in a shared house in Romford using filters from 2017.He says he’s a 6’2” soldier currently deployed with limited internet? Sis, he’s in Croydon with a cracked iPhone and a dream. Do not fall for it.
Don’t send money, don’t send nudes, and for the love of all that’s Black and beautiful — do not fall in love via emoji. If you haven’t seen them on video or heard their voice live, assume it’s a scam. If they ask for crypto, food parcels, or emotional labour before date one — block and bless.
Final Thoughts on how to date during world war 3, Queens and Kings:
We’ve survived worse. From heartbreaks to hair disasters, pandemics to pasta shortages — Black love stays resilient. So yes, the world might be doing madness, but there’s still room for connection, cuddles, and community.
In short: be safe, be smart, and keep your love local. Whether it’s the end of the world or just another Tuesday in late-stage capitalism, remember this — you are the prize, even in a blackout. Especially in a blackout.
So how to date during World War 3? Date Love fiercely. Love wisely. Eat well.
Let me go stock up on toilet paper before the rush!
Chelsea Black ® 2025 ©