Helpful Advice From Men (that no woman wants)

Helpful Advice From Men (that no woman wants)

I was just watching Roachford Facebook live and learned that today is International men’s day? An apt post then? A random rant …

What’s the problem Boo?

So I get it: As women get older the men around them get increasingly concerned for our wellbeing and ovaries. Whilst no woman gives a shit what men think they still insist on imparting their wisdom and unsolicited. Let’s be clear that every woman is painstakingly aware of her status in this world and that without a penis to attach herself to you don’t see her as anything more than a Desperate Doris trying to get to your money. Yes that ISA your gran started for you last year for your 40th is safe from me Fam.

Apparently single women HAVE to endure helpful advice from men. It’s our duty to sit there and listen why they drone on about what we are doing wrong and why their messed up lives are our fault because, typically, it always goes back to them and their needs. I’ve tried to argue that victim blaming is so last century but this washes over them. Instead they act surprised when I ignore their pearls and go on being suitably ok without smiling or lowering my standards

Who are these men?

Not all men! I hear you cry from the cheap seats. No, not all. But enough that it’s become problematic. They can be anyone from strangers in the streets to well meaning friends or relatives. The worst are the ones online that you’ll never likely meet who thinks every post you post is somehow an insight into your fragile heart. Men want to fix you so that you too can get a dick of your own. That is your only goal in life and they want to quip you to win.  


Like dick pics nobody likes anything they didn’t ask for. Now I appreciate that some women may not know how to articulate what they want but there is absolutely no need to take this as an assumption that you must now tell her. You are not a divine power. Your dick has not made you Yoda or Mr Miyagi. You are but flesh and blood with most of your brain cells below your belt. Think before you share. Does she care? Has she asked you? Does her life depend on it? Chances are she’s fine without you chipping in with your one liner. Refrain yourself

And what do they say?

Oh it’s nothing new. No useful nuggets. It’s more memes for dummies out there. My faves are:

  • You need to be open
  • You’re the problem
  • Lower your standards
  • Be less materialistic
  • Let go, let God
  • You’re no Spring Chicken /not getting any younger
  • You come across as desperate
  • Well if you made more effort with your look

So you can see that we’re working with philosophers of the highest calibre here. The sort that watch videos of other philosophers sat in their cars pontificating about, ‘If he doesn’t call you in 3 days then he’s with another Bitch’ or ‘Respect yo’self if you want a man to respect.’ They all worship at the Church of Steve Harvey. Married 3 times Steve Harvey.

So what can you do to stop it ?

Nothing apparently. It’s a compulsion that comes from a need to project their own issues onto others. Ignore it and move on with your life. These men are blind to their fuckeries and ACTUALLY think they’re being helpful. Kind of like white people telling you not to talk about race so much and you’ll experience less racism. Yes… they’re not aware that they are the problem.  

On that note, Happy International Mens’ Day and er, go for that prostrate exam. Maybe a finger or two up your arses will prevent you from talking out of them/ Or at least relax.

Which reminds me I forgot to write that anal play blog. Happy International Men’s Day!

© Chelsea Black® 2020 (Covid era)

Want more? “Cupid’s C*ck Ups” is available for pre-order in the Kindle Store. Click here.

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