The other day I saw a man in his 40s post that he wanted a young woman because he wanted to have a baby. Look at him bravely putting out there that he wants to have a baby and being congratulated by women all over social media. I post that I’d like a date that isn’t Nandos and I’m vilified and get told that I’m too picky.

Yes we are used to the double standards in our society that allow men to be honest about their feelings and wants. We call them brave, courageous for being in touch with their emotions. Women on the other hand are desperate and need to settle for what they can get. We are told that it’s tough out there and we are no longer young enough to pull the men we want. We’re not in our prime any more blah blah, blah blah, blah blah!

So this is an interesting phenomenon among the older men. We women try to chase men down in their 30s but most aren’t having it. Either they already have kids or are enjoying being footloose and nappy free. Then suddenly they hit their 40s and want to have children or more children? This is what real penis envy is. The envy that there is no age controlled biological clock to being ready for kids for men.

As for the men they think, now begins the chore of finding the right mare to breed.

I’ve been told by male friends that they prefer women in their 20s because they’ve got longer to have children so they can date them for longer before kids. This is somewhat confusing as it suggests that you want more than just a carrier. You want someone to love you and get you and….most 20somethings don’t know what the Real McCoy was or know who Junior Giscombe is son. Hell I’m struggling to find 30s who know Tracy Chapman. It’s not easy out there and a big age gap doesn’t make it any easier.

Men think that a woman being young means that there is also the potential for them to have a whole heap of kids. It worries me how little some men know about the female body or mind. Who is to say what she wants or what her body can cope with?  Yes she does have longer in which to have children but do your due diligence before making assumptions based on age.

I figured I was safe. I’m in my 30s. But then the other day I got a surprise message from an old friend. Not that kind of old friend. He is older than me and a friend. We vaguely kept in touch on FB but there was never ever flirting and I haven’t heard from him in over a year. I like that. Not every man is a potential anything, right?

Then this weekend he comes up with a whole heap of suggestions? If you can be bothered to read the whole transcript it’s here. I struggled to write it as it highlights to me how opportunistic men can be. I’m ok with a guy being attracted to you. I’ve even gotten my head around some just wanted to hit it and quit it but this examination of women as a potential mother had me stumped. I think however that I’m meant to be flattered?

And then I thought about it some more and realised that I probably do the same. I value education, financial security and looks as much as the next woman. Clearly these are qualities that consider his viability as a potential sperm donor? My only job after all is choosing the right Daddy for all the mini mes.

I guess then I have to accept that guys can do it too. I’m not mad. Well I am. My thing is, how are dudes trying to breed with you on spec and telling you about it upfront??

I think we should all just go back to practicing really, really hard first.

© Chelsea Black