Just so you all know that I’m not making up my frivolous facebook chats. I realise that it highlights my anxieties as well as his inability to realise that he was winding me up. I almost didn’t post this but, hey ho….Enjoy!

A year ago

HIM: hi chelsea what do you look like?

ME: random question from someone who also doesn’t have photos up?

HIM: i know that!! but i would like see how look send me a photo of you?

ME: Ok I’m not being difficult but we have never spoken. Why would I send a photo of myself to a stranger? This is quite irregular.

 

A year later

 

HIM: is that pic you with your hand on your head

ME: No. No photos of me at all

 

2 Days later

 

HIM: (in response to a moany update about work from me) Ok I hope everything at work works out for you stay bless

HIM: What kind of work do you do?

ME: Projects mainly. No job as such

 

HIM: Ok! would it be ok if we can talk on the phone sometimes

ME: what for?

 

HIM: I like to get to no you if that ok

ME: know me? Thanks dear but I don’t really get to “know” people through social media

HIM: Why that?

ME: It’s just a policy I have. I’ve done it before to no avail. But like I say thanks for reaching out

HIM: Their alway a first time for something new

HIM: You coming like a nice woman

HIM: You never no we can become good friends

ME: I am nice but that doesn’t mean I want to get to know you better.

HIM: That true!

HIM: If I send my number would I here from you

HIM: You never no you might end up liking me lol

HIM: I hope I’m not been to forward

ME: No. I can’t. Your spelling is driving me crazy

Me: are you doing it on purpose?

 

After a silence

 

HIM: No

HIM: Your giving me joke

ME: OMG stop spelling everything incorrectly. It’s too much

HIM: Sirry

HIM: I mean to say sorry

ME: hmmmm am I being punked?

HIM: Lol

HIM: May be I should to talk you on the phone then

ME: No, I know enough dear.

HIM: Like what?

ME: Your spelling drives me crazy. And you’re persistent. I can’t. I’m neurotic about writing.

HIM: It’s this iPhone

ME: No these are grammatical errors. Their instead of there, Your instead of you’re etc. I can’t

HIM: What wrong in me being a bit persistent

ME: Just premature based on one day of interaction

HIM: We need more than one day to get to no someone

ME: KNOW!!! not NO!. OMG.

HIM: I’m say it short that all

ME: Don’t. It isn’t right. OK I’m going to do something else.

HIM: Like what?

ME: Talk to someone whose grammar isn’t giving me anxiety attacks

HIM: I must be giving you some joke

ME: No you really aren’t.

HIM: Ok

HIM: I talk to you tomorrow if that ok

 

Long silence from me

 

HIM: Don’t want to talk me again lol good night

ME: night

HIM: So we talk later?

ME: no

HIM: Why not?

ME: What for? I told you no and you’re still trying it.

HIM: I just have a feeling your a good lady

ME: you’re! see what I mean?

HIM: I’m just saying that all you don’t have to look to deep in to it.

 

Runs off to scream into the Chelsea Moon. I can’t do it.

© Chelsea Black

4 responses

  1. This is just classic. Your life should be hitting the big screen soon Chelsea.Or should that be ‘You’re life’. Haha. I’m just trying to give you joke!

    1. You yourself know that when I make a mistake I’m quick to own it and text it back. This has really become my pet peeve. Such is the joys of having so many friends you haven’t vetted.

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