Dating Blocks the Imposter Syndrome

How this creates Dating Blocks

There are three main types of blocks that happen when dating.

1. The first is that you never relax into dating individuals and instead spend all of your time in fear of being revealed as a fraud. What if he finds out that you cancelled that gym membership back in 2020 and that skipping rope and hula hoop were promptly send to the spare room where they’ve resided ever since. The façade continues.
2. You spend all of your time trying to live up to an image of perfection that simple isn’t sustainable. You become the person in hopes of keeping the interest of the person you are dating. This leads to stress and anxiety.
3. You sabotage or end the relationship early for fear of the truth being revealed. This instead of thinking about what the two of you have built.  

How can you flip reverse it

1. Review profiles and first dates to see how much of it is aspirational you and not real you . You want to be honest about who you are and be ok with who that person is. If you are honestly trying to lose that last 5lbs then, as long as it’s not a touchy subject, talk about it. They may have some useful tips.
2. Out yourself before they out you. Be honest about what isn’t true and hope that they get it. You weren’t lying. You were either projecting or you were reminiscing about an old you. If they’re a decent individual they will admit that some of their stuff isn’t entirely true anymore either. Like the last time he played that guitar was for his A level music exam 25 years ago.
3. Take the time to be become that person BEFORE you start dating. If travelling or running are things you want to do then do them. It gives you more stuff to talk about on dates. You’re learning to make pad thai or you want to master that language? Tell them about that learning journey and your mistakes. People are genuinely interested in journeys.  
4. In your mind some of the things you do may sound really boring but that’s because they’re obvious to you. If you can do something effortlessly you just assume everyone else can and forgot to mention it. It’s good to think about all of the things you can do. Don’t focus on all of the things you think a person wants you to do. If you can’t cook then, for the love of all things holy, I beg you don’t tell them you can. But, if you have a signature dish that you knock out of the park every time then mention that one. It’s easy to talk about things you’ve done

That’s it for the month of February. Hoping that more of you are venturing out there and back into offline dating rather than online. Happy dating!

© Chelsea Black® 2022