A – Sexy D is for Daddy denial
But then a friend pointed out to me that this stance has bred a new type of man. The Daddy denier. It’s much harder for a woman to deny having had kids. Usually they live with her so the toys and requests for glasses of water are a dead giveaway. I had a friend who was going down on a woman when the kid walked in…yes children aren’t always the best for staying in bed when they know there is an opportunity to perform or play with new people.
My friend dated a guy, blatantly asked him if he had children and he said no. Then some weeks later he mentioned that he did have two but that he thought she wouldn’t have dated him if he had been honest and that he and the mother weren’t really getting on. My friend forgave and dated him for a long time but I couldn’t have gone on. A relationship based on a man denying their kids? I just blatantly see it as a lie. But then, she has relationships and I have a series of Almosts. So I’m hardly winning.
Then there was the one I dated who conveniently forgot he had kids or a wife. His bitter friend however was quick to tell me. There is a new phenomenon where men think that when we ask the question do you have children they hear “Do you have children in this room right now or anywhere in zone 1?” Another failed to mention his 3 who lived again with his wife in Essex. Yes Essex is far but I do think legally the children still exist? Check their birth certificates.
Don’t even get me started on the Nigerian based children that are conveniently forgotten. I know some Africans love to send their children back home so that they can experience some of the schooling and culture there but that doesn’t mean the children now belong to the school.
Oh and another quick point my African brothers. So all that money you are giving to Western Union is for your Granny who you forgot you told me passed away 2 years ago? Or you have more than 2 Grannies. Aren’t we taking the African definition of family a tad far?
The ultimate denial
Another guy claimed to have one child who was 18 years old. A girl she was out of the house and therefore no risk to sex. Then he met with a male colleague and felt the need to overshare. Turns out that he had 3 children but one lived in the States and the other he didn’t think was his. Now, I’m no fan of Jeremy Kyle but the one thing he has brought to the attention of the British toothless public is that you can have a paternity test? But no when I spoke to the guy he was quick to tell me that yes the child looked like him but he didn’t think it was his. It couldn’t be. The reasons for his denial are still unknown but I suspect they were financial. Nothing worse than a cheap daddy.
The time delayers
Then there are those that wait until after you are emotionally involved or had sex before they mention that they have children. Be wary my precious, these ones are the most dangerous as they are too comfortable with emotional abuse. It’s about a needs to know basis of information sharing. I would rather guys just approached me with the following script I would be fine:
Hi my name is xxxxx
I do/ don’t have a criminal record
I do / don’t have a wife / partner / ex wife / baby mother
I do / don’t have X number of children by Y number of women
I am / am not cheap
I am currently open to having a relationship.
Then we can begin to have a conversation. The truth is always best dudes and with google and social media it will come out eventually. Trust me
© Chelsea Black .