Bad Boys

Bad boys, bad boys. What you gonna do? What you gonna do when they come for you…..We DATE THEM apparently

So I was recently on the Chrissy B Show talking about bad boys.  I have little experience but I had to reflect and there in the crevices of my dating cluttered mind I recalled the one bad boy I dated.

I had recently moved to a new country and this guy approached me at work and we started dating. He loved his cars and seemed to hire a lot of them on the weekend. He was an ex model and used to play for Arsenal youth. This was the first embittered almost footballer I had met so I didn’t realise that this breed existed until my early twenties. But then he was always late, took hours to return text messages and lived with his mother. Any fooling around at his place was very, very quiet. Finally my mother intervened and told me that this guy was a mess. I ignored her at first but then when I discovered that he had another girlfriend and I was lucky no 2 I grabbed my purse and ran….into the arms of my husband. The relationship was fraught with highs and lows and not enough interaction for me to feel adored. I realised that the reason I got involved with him was because I was bored and all of my friends were in a different city so then I joined the gym. I realised that I hated the gym so I joined the local bars instead. Everyone has their own interests.

I can’t lie. I don’t get women’s fascination with bad boys. Low self-esteem and insecurities aside it just doesn’t make sense! You will not change him. He will just grow out of it at some point. If his growth coincides with when you are together then that’s pure luck. But by that time you will be a shell of your former self. I’m not sure that it’s worth it.

I was asked why some women go for bad boys and I had to think long and hard. If I get a whiff of a bad boy I’m out of the door. I was raised to be a princess my precious so clearly I don’t know how else to be treated.

But my view is that most women who gravitate towards bad boys are bored with their own lives. I meet a lot of women who don’t have their own hobbies and interests except dating. Dating is a hobby for most and finding a potential partner is the Olympic gold. So of course they go for men who are interesting and offer excitement.

So yes we have all done it but, let’s break the cycle. A bad boy just isn’t worth the few highs that you may feel. Throw him back and get yourself a guy that will treat you well. It may sound hard but if he’s raised correctly he’ll be worth the wait.

© Chelsea Black