Ask and you shall receive

A-Sexy A is for Ask

Before I begin I should make it clear that this is probably only my issue and maybe not one that most people have. That said I do think before you help yourself to someone’s body or belongings you should ask. Anal is just one example of some people just trying to help themselves to every orifice but we forget about asking to use stuff when you are visiting.

So here is the thing. That mug? The special mug with the special mug look about it on its own shelf and cupboard away from the other mugs? That’s not a mug for you to use. Besides juice and water shouldn’t be drunk out of mugs. No this is just another example of people getting too familiar with your space too soon. Just because we had sex and you saw me naked doesn’t make my belongings yours.

I dated a guy who dissed my space from the moment he first walked in. “It’s kind of small isn’t it?” he would say,  “Why don’t you live in the hood?” This was a guy who lived in Finchley Road which for those of you who aren’t familiar is hardly South Central LA. Then slowly as the relationship progressed I think he started to see some potential in my place. I think his lease was up. One day as he sat there sipping juice he said, “I could see my decks and records over there in the room” He had been round twice and suddenly he was moving in? Shouldn’t you ASK first?

I was mildly annoyed by that and the fact that he was a fairly selfish lover but that was nothing compared to the absolute rage when I saw the concert bought Superwoman Alicia Keys Mug precariously places on the side of the sink. I did my best not to get mad. Until that is I reached for the cranberry juice bought the day before to find it finished! What was that about? Needless to say he never saw me or the flat again.

Another  are those that use random towels and FACE CLOTHS to cool themselves down after a sweaty session without washing. Dude, that cloth goes on my face! Now despite a 95 degree wash I can still smell you every time I go to wash my face? That’s why I have wet wipes. And don’t even get me started on those that help themselves to your toothbrush. No one night stand is that good. Besides I have a spare. I’m a good hostess. This liberty taking is also the main reason I had to stop using soap. Oh the abuses those soap bars went through. Men and hair removal is an artform many are yet to learn.

So please I beg, just ask and you shall receive. Or else next time I’m gonna call the po po and have you hauled away for crimes against sex etiquette.

© Chelsea Black A-Sexy


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