Arrogance and Basketball

A is for Arrogance part 1

I LOVE an arrogant man. It stinks of an ambitious and able nature that this woman cannot help but admire. The unnerving self-belief is so attractive, so alluring that I’m often ready to tear their clothes off before we’ve gotten home. Make them alpha men too and that’s it. I’m theirs.

But and there is a big but here, they have to be able to back it up. There’s no point in swaggering around with your legs wide open like your balls are too big for your pants when you’re blessed with acorns. (hint, stop with the skinny jeans)

I had one boyfriend at university who gave it the big talk. A basketball player he was adored by a lot of women but, he asked me out.  I don’t actually remember us going on a date. He would just walk me to places on campus and call on the internal phone system. It was free. But I was happy enough. His talk was bombastic and he thought he was the bees knees. I couldn’t help but agree with him.

All the delicious things this man said he was going to do to me.  I was almost nervous the first time we had sex as I thought, what if I couldn’t handle all he had to offer? 9 minutes later I discovered I could. This included foreplay. He mumbled an apology. I hastened to salve the male ego and clearly did too good a job as he turned onto his side, head cocked up his arm and said “So, how do you like me now?”

[scratch record sound]

Was this fool serious? I should have fired him then and there but someone had told me that when you were in a relationship you had to kind of make these things work. So begrudgingly we carried on going out. That was a long month of missed lay ups and rebound shots.

On our month anniversary we went on a group picnic. It was a very large group and as the train took us up a steep mountain he suggested we came back to the train later to….explore. Clearly he had a thing for sex in public places.

Turns out he’d also told all of his friends that we would be on said train so they could cop a look. This is the part that annoys me. With an audience he was able to break the 10 minute mark a feat which up til now he’d never managed? His arrogance was such that he wanted to impress his boys more than he wanted to please me? I don’t think so. We parted company as soon as that train hit the bottom of that mountain. Don’t worry my precious, I already had my eye on a tasty footballer who went on to prove the superiority of footballers.

So I’m all for arrogance but you have to be able to back it up with actual performance. Or at least be able to bounce back when you’re having a bad quarter. Otherwise it’s game over.

© Chelsea Black A-sexy.

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