A Marital Affair?

After my escapades last week on Tagged I realised that visual and status honesty are important to me. Yes indeed I’m a slightly slutty romantic who wants to know that when you say you’re 5’10 I won’t be tucking you into a high chair at the ‘I enjoy fine dining’ (aka Nandos) date.

In my constant search for a dating site that recognises the need for complete honesty I stumbled across the aptly named www.maritalaffair.co.uk

Apparently 50% of Brits think having an affair is acceptable in certain circumstances. I can’t think of any. Just break up or have an open relationship but they won’t do that because one selfish idiot wants to sneak around but would hate it if their partner did the same. Hmmmm, so much for love.

As for me as a single woman I don’t get it. So I must now date men who declare that they’re married and be grateful that at least they are honest about it? Right! Cos that makes it better. My thing is that if I still have to sneak out of bedroom windows at ridiculous times (real story) because your wife turns up then the only thing me knowing that you’re married does is buy me a few seconds head start.  Wives may not have as much time for the gym but an angry wife can take on Kelly Holmes.

And let’s take a step back. You’re married, you made some vows and she bought an overpriced puffy dress she’ll never fit into again if she’s lucky and you did that thing of pretending to remember the other’s friends and relatives. That in itself is one hell of a commitment. But now years later the dress DEFINITELY doesn’t fit her and you look like a Queen Vic extra.  You’re bored but God forbid you fix it so instead you have an affair. Yes this is the sensible solution to your boredom and her inability to stop going on about the DIY or your mother whom she now admits she’s never really liked.

As for women who have these affairs, seriously chica you have time to have an affair? And how when women tend to have emotional rather than physical attachment to sex? This is doomed to failure. I don’t actually buy into the notion that you can cheat on someone you really love and respect. I think that this is a recession led solution to an age old problem; some people don’t want to go through the hassle and cost of a divorce. TOUGH!

I’m sure a site like Marital Affair will do well because it offers the customer exactly what they want. A safe site for those that want discrete affairs with other like-minded people.  But this isn’t for me yet. Why? Because I don’t have a husband to spy on.

If I catch FuHu (future husband) on there (please tell me he had the decency NOT to post photos) then I shall calmly take him for everything he’s got and keep moving. There are sites just for sex but affairs? I’m going to say that it doesn’t work for me. This is another male construct to excuse bad behaviour.  And no site can escape from the fact that most men are too sloppy not to get caught.  Anything from the perfume to the STI are dead giveaways.  Women are less likely to slip up unless they get emotionally involved I reckon. Then they spill.

I guess I want honesty but there is such a thing as too honest? It’s just honest deception.

Oh wait, are there tips there on how not to get caught? I’ll have a quick peek for, research purposes. Just in case Ryan or Tiger call me up and ask for tips.

Happy fornication!

© Chelsea Black



  1. ……I think I’ve caught my breath 😉 Having been one who surcame to temptation, I’m feeling this ‘affair’ thing just isn’t so absolute. Not least because you may not see it coming. And the sex-thing may not define it either (partly because it begs the question as to how the degree of intimacy is percieved; and understood by the other). But yes – we guys can be sloppy.

    • Bazza please! It’s cut and dry. But fine. I accept people cheat. (not me FuHu!)

      The real question is if having found an affair online is a necessary service? I can’t see how this makes it better.

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