6 Reasons why I Won’t Call You Daddy
by Chelsea Black
Let’s get straight to it, babes. This is not a kink-shaming safe space. Today, we need to talk about why I absolutely, unequivocally, unapologetically refuse to call any man Daddy in the bedroom — or anywhere else.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against dirty talk. Say the right thing and you might get a whole symphony of dirty talking vocals. But that actual phrase? Nah. You’ll get a confused frown and maybe a “what the hell?” mid-thrust.
Here are 6 reasons why I won’t call you Daddy and why this particular kink is staying off my playlist:
1. It’s Creepy, Bro
Let’s start with the obvious. You want me to call you Daddy… while you’re inside me? Nah. That’s not sexy — that’s some Freudian fanfiction I didn’t sign up for. It gives soap opera villain. It gives the start of a disturbing Netflix docuseries.
There are so many names I could call you — babe, king, zaddy even (if I’m drunk and you’re giving Father Christmas beard hotness). But Daddy? In 2025?
It gives ick.
2. It’s Giving Insecure
You know what it really screams? “I want to feel powerful.” And I get it — patriarchy is tough, especially when your woman earns more, reads more, and probably has better skincare. But asking me to stroke your ego mid-stroke is wild and likely to end with a cussing. Can one sustain that when the ego is so fragile? .
The need to be seen as a provider, protector, alpha-male figure 24/7 — even during sex? Baby, that’s not sexy, that’s exhausting. If you need to feel dominant, try paying council tax on time or booking a GP appointment for the same day. That’s big Daddy energy. This fake roleplay thing? Not so much.
3. I Don’t Have Daddy Issues
My ex had a thing where he’d only date women who didn’t have good relationships with their fathers. He also preferred to only date virgins but, that’s a whole other blog.
The assumption that all Black women have unresolved trauma from absentee fathers is tired. And offensive. And deeply rooted in anti-Black stereotypes that need to be laid to rest alongside relaxed edges and the phrase “strong Black woman.” Shout out misogynoir!
Stop projecting your own twisted logic onto me. My father may or may not have been present, but that’s none of your business — and it’s definitely not foreplay. Most women have worked through their issues by a certain again and if they haven’t then you’ve got bigger fish to fry
I’m not here to perform your “broken Black girl with abandonment issues” fantasy so you can play saviour in a tracksuit.
4. If I Call You Daddy, Are You Gonna Call Me Mummy?
Because fair’s fair. Let’s flip it.
You want Daddy? Then next time I’m riding you like a thoroughbred, whisper “Mummy” in my ear and let’s see how quickly this game ends. I’ll dry up like my skin in this 34 degree heat wave we’re having.
No? Exactly. You know it’s weird. You just think it’s only weird when the woman does it. Newsflash: we’re both uncomfortable now.
5. How Much Incest Porn Have You Watched, Seriously?
I need us to have a very real, very awkward chat.
The rise in “step-mum”, “step-dad”, “daddy’s girl” categories in adult content is… alarming. And I don’t think y’all are just clicking it by accident. Incest porn is hot and for all the wrong reasons amplifying the dynamic of daddy daughter.
If your idea of foreplay involves the same language used in Taboo Teens 12, then maybe — just maybe — you need to ask yourself some hard questions.
Why is this your go-to? Why do you need this dynamic? And why is it EVERY. SINGLE. TIME? Variety is the spice of sex, love. Try “Professor” or “Captain” or “Man Who Actually Planned the Date.”
6. P. Diddly — Need I Say More?
In the 90s they loved to use Daddy as a sign of masculinity in rap and RnB. But, at this point, Daddy is officially cursed. There was Daddy or Papi and it was always said in that weird infantilised voice.
If the name is associated with a man who might’ve lowkey ruined the 90s R&B scene and allegedly committed enough sins to get blocked at Heaven’s gates, I’m not moaning it in bed.
It’s triggering. It’s confusing. And if we’re being honest, Daddy lost his privileges.
In Conclusion…
Not everything from the American sex playbook needs to be imported to the UK. We already lost Nando’s to Instagram foodies. We don’t need to lose our minds too. My mind’s telling you no. And your mouth should be too.
Calling you Daddy doesn’t make me feel submissive, sexy, or cared for. It makes me feel like I’m in the opening scene of a very dark Channel 4 reality TV show.
So no, I won’t call you Daddy. I’ll call you when the vibe is right, when the energy is giving grown, when the beard is connecting and the bills are paid. But Daddy?
Never that.
Got a weird sex request you want me to unpack? Slide in my DMs or leave a comment. No judgement. Just vibes and brutal honesty.
© Chelsea Black ® 2025
www.chelsea-black.com
