6 Cringeworthy Dating Questions : Dating in the UK is a unique experience, especially as a Black woman. Between dodging microaggressions and cultural misunderstandings, you’d think the bare minimum we could get is decent conversation. But no, some men insist on coming with tired, outdated questions that leave us rolling our eyes harder than the aunties at the family BBQ when someone arrives late with no food but plenty, plenty containers for the leftovers. Let’s get into it: here are 6 cringeworthy dating questions you need to stop asking immediately.
1. What do you bring to the table?
This question needs to be retired permanently, like flip phones and dial-up internet. Why is this even a thing? It’s giving “Love Island contestant trying to sound deep.” Do you think you’re being profound, or are you just looking for a woman to fund your mandem meet-ups?
Here’s the truth: if you have to ask what someone brings to the table, it probably means you’re not bringing much yourself. Relationships aren’t Dragon’s Den. This question reeks of insecurity and transactional thinking. Instead of asking me about my metaphorical table, focus on whether your own life is sturdy enough to even host a meal. Because if it’s giving flatpack furniture vibes, we’re not sitting down.
2. Why are you still single?
This one feels like a double-edged sword. On one hand, it’s meant to sound like a compliment, but on the other, it’s loaded with judgement. Like, do you think singlehood is a punishment or a character flaw? What answer are you even expecting? That I’ll confess, “Oh, I’ve been waiting for someone as basic as you to save me from this life of freedom and peace”?
Black women often carry the weight of expectations—from family, culture, and society. So, yes, we’re single because we refuse to settle. Being single doesn’t mean something is wrong with us; it means we know our worth. Instead of this tired question, how about asking something that shows genuine interest? Like, “What’s the best lesson you’ve learned from relationships?” Now, that’s a conversation starter.
3. Can you cook?
The kitchen competency test. It’s 2025, and somehow we’re still reducing women—especially Black women—to our ability to season chicken. Let me tell you something: whether or not I can make the best jollof rice this side of the Thames is irrelevant. The real question is, can you?
Let’s be honest: this question isn’t about food. It’s about outdated gender roles and expecting women to fulfil a “good wife” checklist. If you’re that concerned about meals, there are cooking classes, Uber Eats, and your own two hands. Stop outsourcing your basic needs to women you barely know. If food is truly your love language, ask what my favourite dish is or suggest we cook together. Make it collaborative, not an assessment.
4. Who do you live with?
Now, this question is just nosy. Are you trying to figure out if I live with my parents, flatmates, or alone? Or is this your subtle way of checking if I’ve got enough privacy for your nonsense? Whatever your intention, it’s intrusive. It’s also how hobosexuals sniff out a mark.
Housing in the UK is a sensitive topic, especially for Black Brits who often deal with generational expectations, rising rent, and the occasional “So, when are you moving out?” from our families. Who someone lives with doesn’t define them, and it’s definitely not first-date material. Instead of prying, how about asking about her favourite part of the city or where they’d live if money weren’t an issue? You’ll learn far more that way.
5. Are you submissive?
This question is a walking red flag. The only place “submission” belongs is in WWE or an academic paper submission deadline. Asking a Black woman if she’s submissive is just a coded way of saying, “Will you shrink yourself to boost my ego?” And the answer is no. We’re not here to play out outdated fantasies or fit into some patriarchal mould. Instead of focusing on dominance and submission, maybe ask yourself if you’re a partner worth submitting anything to.
6. Are you adventurous?
This question might seem harmless, but it’s often a prelude to something cringe-worthy. What exactly do you mean by “adventurous”? Are we talking skydiving or your dubious “open-minded” ideas? Be specific, because vagueness is not charming—it’s confusing. And most of you have the same bland ideas around sexual adventure i.e. open relationships, 3sums (2 women) etc. Black women are already navigating enough challenges; we don’t need ambiguous quizzes about our capacity for risk-taking. If you’re genuinely curious, try asking about specific activities or interests.
Let’s Do Better, Shall We?
Dating isn’t easy, but some of you make it harder than it needs to be. The UK’s dating pool already feels like the River Thames on a bad day, so why pollute it further with tired, clichéd questions? Asking meaningful things shows thoughtfulness and genuine interest. These outdated questions? They show laziness and a lack of self-awareness. So, avoid these 6 Cringeworthy Dating Questions that could save you from ghosted.
If you’re trying to connect, dig deeper. Ask about her passions, her culture, her dreams, and what makes her laugh until she cries. The right questions can spark a connection, but the wrong ones will have her texting her group chat: “Sis, he asked me if I can cook. Blocked and blessed.”
Raise your game, fellas. The bar isn’t that high. Let’s leave the tired questions behind and move forward with better energy. Nobody wants to be on the wrong end of a, “Stay Blessed.” text. And don’t worry ladies, your ones are next!
You’re welcome.
© Chelsea Black ® 2025
