5 REAL dating tips from your past (that may actually work)
My friend has maintained a friendship since the times when Jodeci and Boys II Men were new and hot. Recently the conversation turned to whether or not they could make it into more and, reader, they did! So there is some merit in looking back and revisiting old relationships. Let’s break this down further and look at 5 REAL dating tips from your past that may actually work and could lead to your next relationship.
The most common question I get asked about is where can I meet my next person. I wish there was one answer but the reality is that none of us know. However, you can increase you chances by being creative with how you date and looking back. I know that living in the past is a big no no but the past gives us clues to dating and could be where you find your next partner. So yes, put down that dating app and let’s think about dating differently! It’s time to LOOK BACK
Dating Tip 1 – Do your Relationship CV
Some of you have seen me mention relationship CVs before and I SWEAR by them. One advantage of them is that you see what you bring to a relationship but also what you liked about the people you dated, what attracted you to them and what your deal breakers are. Ie. Why did you break up. So take the time and do your relationship CV. It will change the way you date You can also identify patterns such as relationships lasting a particular period of time or that you date lawyers. Yeah, I nipped that one in the bud. Red flag!
Dating Tip 2 – Revisit the Right Person, Wrong Time
Quite often we meet people when we aren’t looking and there’s a certain chemistry. When I was married I met someone who could have been the one. Then, when I got divorced, he had gotten married and had children. So there are certain people who you may have met but the circumstances weren’t right. Maybe they lived too far away or one of you were entangled. It’s worth putting your head above the parapet and checking what their relationship status is now. Be brave!
Dating Tip 3 – Return of the Ex
My least favourite option but, sometime the ex was the one that got away and they were just too young, not ready, a cheat, didn’t understand what a great thing they had in you. Note that I assume that they were at fault 😛
Whatever. If you really believe that they’ve changed or that you’ve changed enough and you can make it work this time then this is probably the easiest solution. The one downside is that often you skip the fun, dating, ‘getting to know you’ side of relationships as you’ve progressed beyond this stage previously. Do this one with caution as, sometimes the reason you broke up the first time may still not be resolved. If they’ve finally moved cities then fine but, if they still doesn’t know how to communicate, is a liar etc then chances are that you may be wasting your time on this one. This comes with a relationship health warning.
Dating Tip 4 – Remember Friends Reunited?
Once upon a time before there was Facebook and dick pics we had the joy of Friends Reunited. This is the one that will be easiest to do for most people especially if you are less comfortable talking to your exes. Reach out and go back to people who you knew in your happier times. These may be friends, colleagues or people from activities you did before this last relationship and you’ve lost touch? Reach out (don’t touch) and find out where they are at and if you still have that easy friendship. This isn’t to say that you will date them but it opens up your pool of potential date brokers with very little pain. They may know the perfect person for you
One of the advantages of Friends Reunited is that you connected with friends from college or old work places in a new way. They also have similar minded pasts so may be more attune to who you are and what you need in a partner. If it’s them then, that’s a bonus.
If this turns out to be your next relationship and you already have a friendship then your shared history or references can mean that you connect in a way you won’t ever connect with someone you meet on a dating app. So this is an opportunity to look back and reflect on all of your past times and reach out to those who are part of those happy memories.
Dating Tip 5 – Reseaux Social aka Social Media
Join those chat rooms for groups that interest you. Did you used to be in a choir when you were younger or play a sport or go to certain events. Again the shared interest allows you to engage with people without the pressures of dating off the bat.
The joys of social media means that you can go through all of their photos and posts first ti see if they’re still the same sort of person. But be warned. What you see on social media may not be the whole story or personality. It could be better or worse. And some are complete different online to how they are in the real word.
One last tip if you reconnect with an old activity or hobby then try and do it in real life as opposed to just talking about it online. That will open up even more people into your dating bubble and more bubbles make for a more delicious dating whirlpool. So there ends your 5 REAL dating tips from your past. Let me know if you try any of them and more importantly, when they work,
© Chelsea Black® 2022