15 Things I learned on the authors’ bootcamp

1. Air conditioning is one of the things you are given free despite not wanting it. Take layers. I wrote all weekend
2. Writers have groupies who think that having written a book is a huge achievement no matter that it’s a book about making money from writing a book. Hmmmm
3. Internet marketers have more groupies who don’t mind paying silly money to see them talk and making them even richer. I know which one I prefer.
4. Investment in a stylist is needed. Like seriously you’ve made millions and you still look like you shop at C&A? (which no longer exists) Come on love, I’m meant to be convinced that your course of £13K is will make me as fabulous as you should be looking.
5. On day one the course is £4997 on day two £2997 and on the third day you get £1997. Some are generous enough to tell you about the VAT
6. You need mental arithmetic to figure out the payment plan is not a deal.
7. The interesting slides are on for less than 20 seconds so that people don’t take photos and STEAL their precious work
8. So apparently whooping, massaging strangers and dancing on stage is the done thing now.
9. American marketing seems to be a prerequisite for these events. Take ear plugs for those bits.
10. Most people spend 70% of their talk telling you what they are going to tell you, 20% selling and 10% telling you anything of any value
11. You have to have a rags to riches story. Luckily I already have one of those “I was in a whole heap of debt” tales so I’m already winning
12. You will not like the look of 90% of the people in the room with you and hopefully never see them again.
13. All the speakers will use the same 10 examples of success. None of which are them.
14. Those selling their courses don’t reveal their true worth or earnings but I’m guessing if you’re flying all over the world for these gigs you haven’t got enough of a residual / passive income yet.
15. You will leave the course with hopes of making millions but actually go home to chat on Twitter

 

© Chelsea Black