You’re over your virtual crush when

As you all know I’m notorious for my crushes and infatuations. I know you would think I would know better but alas a great conversation, flirtation or even argument can get me jumping to visualisations of our pending nuptials. What can I say my precious I’m a leaper.

But when it’s over it really is over. You have plenty more time on your hands and you realise that, he wasn’t everything you thought he was in that split moment of crushing. Here are my signs that it’s over:

  1. You stop regularly checking their status updates for status updates
  2. You only think about them when their update comes up on your wall or timeline.
  3. You stop looking at his photos, squinting and imagining what your children would look like.
  4. You stop looking for the hidden subliminal messages in his updates. Let’s face it my precious he’s not that deep, bright or bothered with you
  5. You no longer check his photos for other women
  6. You stop following the people he follows and LOLs with to see if there is anything deeper
  7. You forget to find ways of interacting on twitter
  8. You no longer know what time he gets up and goes to bed. Good night twitter, and morning twitter are such revealing tweets.
  9. You no longer re read your interactions and think they mean that you’re a match. He didn’t even know who [insert famous person you consider to be critical to life here] was.
  10. You stop thinking up reasons to meet. Trips overseas aren’t that easy to orchestrate
  11. Your tummy doesn’t flip whenever you see his avatar
  12. You start doing all of the above things for someone completely different.

Happy crushing!

© Chelsea Black

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