Restaurant foods – I’m a food snob. You’ll never see me cook.
Cocktails – I like pretty colours. I like pweety colours!
Home cooked food – I’m looking for a husband. See, I can cook! At least until I get you.
Sexy body parts – I want you to lust after me but know you’ll never get me. By the way, this is my best bit
Arty – I’m a pretentious wannabe.
Full body shot – I go to the gym. Look at me.
Just children – I gave up on my dreams years ago. I live vicariously through the kids
Cats – I gave up on a relationship years ago. It’s just me and evil eyed Fluffy.
Beaches and holiday destinations – I want you to think I’m more exciting and well-travelled then Weston super mere and one trip to Tenerife with my parents
Dogs – I need a needy companion who isn’t as hairy. Please? Pick me!
Photos with friends out – I have friends. We go out and take pictures cos we are having so much fun!
Photos in bathrooms in clubs – I’m ashamed of my need to live my life online and will never wear this dress again
Photos with random strangers in clubs – I have few friends and I’m drunk enough to bug people.
Drunken pictures – I want you to accept me for the drunken lush that I am (hic)
Photos with exes – Yeah I’m not quite over him. Baggage alert
© Chelsea Black