The Interview

So today started out like every other; on the tube contemplating a life committed to my electric blanket and finding Hubby no 2.

A day of interviews loomed and grabbing fruit from the café on the way I contemplated how I, Chelsea , could be stuck in some administration job as opposed to working in a fabulous industry with a precious wardrobe and a personal assistant to run errands for me. OK, I just lied to you my precious. I had a McDonald’s breakfast. Double sausage and egg meal and an extra hash brown. But I did order water as the drink.

I sat on a panel and watched people sweat and laugh nervously in ill fitting suits whilst I planned an ensemble for a date later that week. I was leaning towards a little black dress with a pink gash but realised that it might not forgive me my winter pig out weight.

Then, just as I was losing the will to live I saw him through the glass partition right in front of me….my future husband and father of my kids. Just walking into the reception. He was hot. He was wearing a Hugo Boss Suit, He looked a little shorter than I expected but he had finally arrived! But surely the universe wouldn’t be so kind as to bring him here for me? He couldn’t be here in the same building as me to interview for a job in my team could he?

I quickly rushed to the bathroom to strategise. I could ask who he was at reception but the security guard was a little deaf and had a tendency to shout. So I did what any self respecting single girl would do in this situation. I sent out a prayer to every religion and non religion. “Please, if you let this hot hunk be the next interviewee I will not eat McDonalds breakfasts for a week.. Ok a month”. I then pulled down my neck line for a little extra cleavage and took off the ill fitting cardigan to ….accentuate my African-ness. I walked out and he smiled and I melted. All those weeks of chanting had finally brought him to me in the most unlikely of guises: As a potential employee to boss around at my every whim.

As I led him up to the interview room I asked him if the journey in had been alright. He explained that he had come in from Luton. Admittedly my sashay lost a little sway as I stumbled but then he smiled and all was well with the world again

For about 20 minutes I lived the dream. Sadly I wont be seeing him again. His inability to blag or provide examples of his skills rules him out as an employee or life partner. So I write this my precious from McDonalds where in the spirit of New Years resolutions I only ordered one hash brown. See, I’m learning. Happy 2010!

© Chelsea Black

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