The Gap Filler

There’s a dude pandering to his mainly heterofemale audience telling them to get themselves a gap filler. This is offensive on so many levels but the key take away is that he, a man, is encouraging women to use men emotionally whilst they are single? I’m not sure how men benefit from this deal. Also doesn’t this encourage resentment from men who are already struggling to find dates?

What he said

So this is a Dude called David Burrus who posted this for likes. Yes David. We see what you were trying to do.

“Single Sis:

Let me share a little big bro advice with you.

Every single sister needs a “gap filler”. This is a man who loves you enough to conver you, counsel you, and care for you, without wanting to sleep with you.

He does things like go to the car dealership with you, negotiate with the tree trimmer for you, vets your boyfriends with you, gives you sound manly advice, checks on you when you’re driving long distances, etc.

He’s a safe and responsible manly figure, who will cover you until your king comes.

Do you have a “gap filler” in your life?

Homework:

Prayerfully consider who is in your circle that you trust to be a gap filler, and ask them if they’d be willing to serve as your gap filler

#PermissionToThinkDifferently”

Yes, we are trying to fill the gap left by the early demise of Kevin Samuels but what in the ever loving vaginal pandering is this!?!

What is a gap filler

So a gap filler is a quasi boyfriend who doesn’t get any of the benefits or a male relative. It’s a male relative or friend who wants to treat you like a princess but doesn’t want to be the prince in this fairy tale. A unicorn then. This person has to be ok with you disappearing once your prince or king appears as you don’t need two people fulfilling this role.

I think the gap filler could easily be a woman but apparently the writer has a very gendered viewpoint. And herein lies the problem. I didn’t realise that I was looking for a boyfriend because my life was lacking manly advice and a man to negotiate tree trimming. Yes I do have a tree in my garden (no pun) but I’ve foolishly been arranging tree trimming for over a decade without realising this was a man’s task.

The helpless woman

I don’t know what manly advise is but, women don’t need a man to be able to make key decisions in their life and be protected. Apparently when she is single, she is helpless. Whilst the post recognises that women are struggling to find a partner the writer seems to assume that there are a lot of men who want to carry out this role. Most men out there who have the time to be checking in on you after a long distance drive want more than a, “Thanks Chuck. Nite!”

Where are you supposed to find this paragon of virtue?

Looking for any friends isn’t easy and when you are looking for temporary friends the chances are slimmer. I’m guessing women are supposed to date, friendzone and then convert to gap filler as required. This is nonsensical. I would question why said woman doesn’t have friends who can, I dunno, do friends stuff like this. Why does it have to be an allocated role?

How do gap fillers benefit?

What hit me is how the gap filler is an unconditional giver. Meanwhile the woman is required to do very little in return. So why would gap filllers do this? This role sounds very much like a friendzoned guy. He’s who hopes that by auditioning his boyfriend skills he gets a chance at the main role.

Alas no. He has clearly been identified as not being the one and is now used for laborious tasks and caring. David, we struggle to get men to care when they are the boyfriend!

And this is why I question all of the women liking said posts. It encourages them but also sends out the wrong message to both men and women as to what dating is. If you meet someone and you don’t have chemistry or attraction then let them go on with their dating journey. Why must they linger around helping you do adulting tasks. Eish, I can’t with these half arsed relationship experts. Not today Satan! Not today.

Happy Gap Filling and let’s hope you don’t get a gap filler who feels physically entitled.

The nonsense.

© Chelsea Black ® 2022