The female Cockblock

A-Sexy: C is for cock blocker part 2

I’ve already written about this not so rare species in The Bitch Block but what if the cock blocker is closer to home?

I hate to say it but women over 25 are a lot more competitive over men now as if they are a limited resource. Dating is like diamond mining (De Beers mines dear FuHu. Please don’t say I haven’t dropped enough hints, I beg). So if you spot any of these behaviours it may be time to block her. Yes, you can’t take risks when you’re trying to date that your cock blocker is right next to you.

1)      She’s fine when she’s being chatted up but when she’s not she wants to go home cos ‘the place is dry ‘

2)      You’re chatting to a guy and she suddenly feels ill or has a drama and you all have to go home where she makes a miraculous recovery

3)      She gives evil stay away glares at all the guys you point out as being cute

4)      She can’t stand it when you’re happy.

5)      She insists on staying over at yours even though this was never the plan before preventing you from going home with your target.

6)      She tries to dominate your conversation with a potential and drops in stories that are unnecessary and make you look bad.

This is cock blocking. I have an ex- friend who constantly did this last one. Always with the, “OMG Chelsea! Do you remember that time when you were drunk?” No I don’t bloody remember as it was quite often. Or “Do you remember the time you snogged that waiter for a pitcher of Sex on the Beach?” That was in University. Are we STILL talking about it? Or “Do you remember the guy you went home with last week? Whtt was his name again” How am I supposed to remember? It was LAST week! Why was she always trying to take a trip down memory lane when I was trying to close on the next deal?  Nope, bitch had to go.

So beware my precious, your wing woman may be your cock block

© Chelsea Black


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