It started off like so many other nights did with one vodka cranberry too many. Subsequently I recall drunken dialling an old friend from the back of a black cab at silly o’clock declaring my feelings. To be fair it was off the back of increasingly flirtatious emails but I can’t be sure. It may have just been the vodka. Now, I know that we are led to believe that alcohol makes us all tell the truth but I can honestly say I’ve come up with some real lusty lies in the throes of tipsiness disproving that theory. If you ever get the call my precious I beg you to ignore it. Chances are I misdialled
Waking up with drinker’s remorse I was surprised to get an email from him. He agreed and wanted to give us a proper go as a couple. I wasn’t sure what all of that meant but luckily my friend Tia had been present and with one less drink in her could remember the bits of the conversation I couldn’t. I had known this man for more than half of my life so it wasn’t going to be a quick roll in the hay although Tia says I did suggest it. Alas, he said that he needed to extricate himself from his current relationship and asked for some time to do this respectfully.
Could this be a man who was so serious and focused that he wanted to do the right thing? I could get with that so totally agreed. I could wait a little while longer for something special.
So I waited. For months we had the odd email exchange but never about the relationship. Don’t get me wrong my precious. I wasn’t sitting at home twiddling my thumbs but I figured that email was the clearest declaration of a man’s intentions you can get. Aside from a tattoo.
Then one day we were chatting online and he casually mentioned that by the way he had decided to go through with it. Through with what I asked hoping he didn’t mean the snip. His wedding?
I was stumped. It turns out that he had not only failed to break up with his girlfriend but instead was getting married in 2 weeks. She was due to have their 2nd baby later that year. He claimed that the family pressure was immense and that he couldn’t leave her. Oh how noble he sounded.
I translated this as “I’ve still been shagging her and I never really had any intention of leaving her I just wanted to see if we could hook up with you one time” Was I pissed off? Yes because according to Tia I had generously offered my body as an option and he had declined.
So beware the guy that sounds noble but has options my precious. And guys remember that a drunken dial is just a conversation but an email declaration…..could so easily be sent to the wife. (Don’t worry. I didn’t send it)