Most men are rather linear. We think their vagueness is because they’re thinking and digesting our interactions. Dissecting conversations and evaluating our emotional connections. NOPE! They are but simple creatures and there are only about 8 dating zones they will put you in. Or the F zones as I call them because, I like the letter F?
To be clear there are men who are emotionally mature enough not to zone their women but, they’re few and far between. I can’t imagine that all the men are wastemen and fuckbois but, the majority are.
Once you have been put into a dating zone this is it! It’s a struggle to get out and almost impossible to get an upgrade. So, let’s look at the F zones:
1. The Friend Zone
Ahhh the joys of the friend zone. Whilst this is deemed something women do more, men do it too. The problem with the friend zone is that it’s essentially dishonest. One of you wants more and the other knows this and chooses to manipulate it for their personal gain. It feeds the ego of the zoner whilst the zonee is left feeling insecure in the uncertainty of it all. There comes an age where you don’t need many new friends so, best you pick yourself up and get on with it. If he’s not trying to fuck you from jump then chances are he just doesn’t fancy you. Sorry! No more friendzone.
2. The Fuck Zone
Joyful joy, you’re fucking so it must mean something more, right? No, it just means he wants to fuck you. If he does it more than a few times then it’s because you’re available and the woman he really wants isn’t. That’s right. You are just sex. Which it leads it to the Fall Back . Admittedly this is good sex as he’s not emotionally invested so he can do all of those porn hubby things he wouldn’t dare do with his girlfriend. But sex alone gets boring and when you start getting too serious it’s likely to end.
3. The Fall Back
Is another way of describing the Back Up or Side Chick. When women talk about the back up they mean a back up husband for when they can’t find someone by 35, not a Side Dick. Men just mean a back up jump off or alternative girlfriend because their main one isn’t giving them ‘attention.’ The Fall Back never gets promoted into the Fiancée Zone. He doesn’t respect you enough to make you a real girlfriend so the chances are he’ll break up with his girlfriend and you will be the constant: The Side Chick.
4. The Fan Zone
So you adore him because he’s talented . He knows it and it feeds his ego. Social Media has made this even worse. A couple of well worded memes and you’re deep in love whilst he enjoys the public attention. This is the 2nd hardest zone to get out of. Once a fan, always a fan in his eyes. Time to move on and get a crush on someone who doesn’t use it to feed their ego. They give you something back
5. The Fool Zone
More common than we realise this is the dude who thinks you’re stupid. He thinks most women are stupid. He tends to be a misogynist and he and his friends love talking about how he tricked you into paying his rent/ taking him back (again) / fucking him etc. He’s a fuckboi. I should rename it the Fuckboi Zone. The fool zone is where your friends tell you to get out of it because you aren’t benefitting so you have to ask yourself, why are you here?
6. Focus on Me
The Narcissist likes to have you around as a plaything. You have been picked so it’s often the hardest zone to get out of because they’re in control of it. They’ll ply you with compliments and reel you in but then ghost and do mean things without notice. Quite often they draw you in with a lot of time spent on their issues. It’s harder to leave someone who claims to have issues or insecurities. You are being manipulated! Run for the hills.
7. The Flirt
The Flirt flirts with everyone. It’s the biggest zone. You are not special. He flirts with dogs, men, himself in the mirror, grannies, children. He’ll call it charm but it’s your basic flirting.
But he likes to make believe that he’ll act on it one day. He won’t though because he reserves his flirt zone for everyone. Whenever he sees you he’ll hint at more and leave you with a, ‘we must hang out sometime.’ I challenge you to whip out your phone and say, what will we and when? That’s right, call him on his flirting and watch him disappear. He’ll realise you’re not to be messed with and you’ll stop daydreaming and giving yourself false hope.
8. The Fiancee
This is the one that women say they want but, it’s not without its drawbacks. I mean, come on, does anyone want to be put on a pedestal of perfection? I blame that awful ‘Wifey’ song. The Fiancee zone is where you have to be the perfect wife in his eyes and men often struggle when they see your flaws. Even the sex is mediocre as he saves the good stuff for the Side Chick. It’s a lot of pressure to be perfect all the time. My advice would be to slowly show him that you’re not perfect and that it’s ok. But know that most men are binary and have a Madonna / Whore perspective on women
That’s it! Best of luck and remember, once you identify which zone he’s put you in, if you don’t like it, GET OUT! Like seriously, don’t try to change zones. Just jump out and move on with your life because, no man is worth that level of stress
© Chelsea Black 2020