Signs that you may be dating crackhead (addict)
Just to be clear; I don’t have enough knowledge on drugs to know the difference between crack / crystal meth/ speed etc. What I do know from experience is that addicts, from alcohol to gambling and now drugs are sneaky, selfish and likely to make you think that you’re crazy. But, I have started to see that despite their best intention addicts can’t hide their real love forever. Here are ways you too can spot the subtle and not so subtle signs
When they talk about their drug wistfully ….you’re dating an addict
There were a number of conversations where drugs were discussed as an activity just before you start dating or during the dating (but recreationally but only when his old friend tracked him down and forced them down his throat). I didn’t understand this story but I was told that an ex con friend has bumped into him, then come over and persuaded him to have the drugs. But he’s telling you that he no longer does drugs and this ex con knows where he lives and is coming over to smoke during the day? Know that this wasn’t the first and won’t be the last.
When the landlord is knocking on the door ….you’re dating a crackhead
The beauty of the answer machine is that you too can hear the messages. Whilst I was over there the landlord kept calling. The rent hadn’t been paid. He ignores all the calls and says that he isn’t over a month over. Huh? This is turning into the beginnings of an episode of the people’s court and you’re on the wrong side. Then, one day you’re sitting there watching Living Single reruns and the Landlord is knocking on the door. This tells you that a) he’s more than a month late and b) the fact that he doesn’t even flinch means that this has happened before.
When the other crackheads are knocking on the door ….you’re dating a crackhead
One day, late at night whilst trying to figure out if I indeed has whatever ailment the advert on TV was telling me I had there was a knock on the door. Not the pesky landlord I hoped. But no, this was a guy looking for a light. A light, 10pm at night. There was an exchange which I couldn’t hear but needless to say with hindsight I reckon that the dude wasn’t looking for a light. You’re then told that this hasn’t really happened before. You keep quiet and wonder if you indeed might have high blood pressure or terminal piles…
When you spot the drug paraphernalia ….you’re dating a crackhead
So the first few visits there is nothing to suggest that this person smokes let alone anything illegal. Then one day you are doing your usual recognisance to ensure that there are no signs of other women. You spot an ashtray with a metal cigarette shaped thing in it and some dark powder. This doesn’t LOOK like weed but, university was a long time again and besides, you were always too posh to actually buy your own. You ask him and he tells you something about it being a cigarette. It’s not the vapour one you bought him to help him quit. You never see the ashtray or metal cigarette again. In fact you never ever see him smoke. He just comes back smelling of something you can’t identify.
When he owes you money with little way of paying it back …you’re dating an addict
He owes you money but the excuses become more and more ridiculous. You realise that money is not something that likes to hang around him. You doubt you will ever get your money back and start plotting ways to get even. He tells you how his mom tries to control him by helping him with money. He confesses that he doesn’t work all the time. You realise that this man works to weed not weeds to have fun.
When he plays the creative card….chances are he’s a crackhead
Apparently creatives need drugs to create which suggests that we are all creative if we buy the right shit. We just don’t know it. I found any sort of drug restricts my creativity and just makes me jumpy and paranoid. Like we need another suspicious black woman on the streets of London? I can’t.
When he loses a lot of weight ….you’re dating a crackhead
Thanks to Facebook you can date a weight loss. You see that about a year before he was big but now
he is more than 100 lbs smaller. He has that loose skin that comes from a dramatic “Biggest Loser” weight loss. You ask and he tells you that shit got so hard despite being in a relationship that he lost that much weight from, lack of eating. The only other signs I know are sickness and drugs. Food weight loss isn’t usually that severe in such as small period of time. Hell, we could all afford to skip the odd snack.
When he looks pained when he has to spend money on anybody but himself. ….chances are he’s a crackhead
When you go grocery shopping and you can see that the person doesn’t want to feed you. When the portion of rice is so small he’s trying to stretch out a portion of Uncle Ben’s Wild rice over 3 -4 meals. When the bill comes and he gives you THAT look because you dared order a starter. When he’s calculating how much money he has to spend on drugs by skimping on everything else.
There were plenty of other signs. The lateness that you put down to African time, the nervousness and anxiety, the waking up to finding him mindlessly finger fucking you, his inability to stay awake for calls or remember what time to call, the dry mouth, my precious is when you know that chances are he’s a crackhead.
©Chelsea Black 2014
P.S. My own crackhead ending is right here