Shout Outs and Byes 2019

Shout Outs

I write this from my flu bed. Unlike most of my male friends I have real flu not that man flu nonsense which is just a cold. I’m struggling to concentrate so may add to this as the week goes on or make horrendous spelling mistakes. Forgive me?

Yes a lot of us have been complaining about 2019 being a horrible year and whilst it wasn’t golden it feels like a suitable ending to a chapter. In true end of year style I would like to send out a shout out to:

  1. The Labour supporters who really though JC would be the second coming. Alas you were let down by a neoliberal approach to a socialist leader. It was always going to be an impossible uphill battle.
  2. My friend who lost his wife this year. He can’t cook for shit so I worry that he’s secretly starving? But I know these times aren’t easy.
  3. Those friends who battled long term or new illnesses quietly. You are soldiers. Look at me complaining about my flu!
  4. Those who reach out with a kind word or thought once in a while.
  5. My fave facebook couple who are expecting their first bambino next month. The most conscious, legal minded baby to be born in the Southern Hemisphere for sure sure.  
  6. The arrival of twins into my godmother circle. That was a surprise.
  7. The announcement of a pending godchild in May after a miscarriage earlier in the year (prays that child is born early and is a Taurus not a Gemini please – but mostly for a happy, healthy bundle…..that is a Taurus) That’s it now! The godmother shop is closed!  
  8. All of the black musicians and sports people who ONLY just got honoured despite decades in their professions. Roachford, Billy Ocean, Clive Lloyd etc. Well done and here was me thinking the Colonial Empire recognised you sooner. Soon come.
  9. Those brave enough to start a business despite no Brexit deal in place. You guys rock
  10. All of those who got fully woke not just half woke so get the irony of how annoying they were before. Yes you boo. Thank you for the personal growth
  11. Everyone who sent gifs and messages to my inbox to die. Die they truly did
  12. All my family, colleagues and friends for making me laugh despite my year of relative reclusion. I’ve been tired but it has been worth it health wise.


And then there are all of the things we are NOT doing in 2020. These things we are leaving behind:  

  1. Wastemen and fuckboys – it was fun to entertain your BS in the 10s but not in the 20s. Come correct or don’t cum at all. Oh and to the wastemen who still think street harassment is cute and will get them play but their nigistence is so strong they don’t care. Nah
  2. Frenemies – if you find yourself jealousing someone else’s circumstance or life then you’ve crossed over from friend to frenemy. Time for you to go
  3. Apologists for bad behaviour just because they’re celebrities
  4. Cockblockers – you know who you are. Constantly blocking others from dickish delights. Nah
  5. Toxic family – I know the struggle for some of you is real and you can’t just divorce them.
  6. Useless crowdfunds that forget to thank their stranger benefactors. Give to those you know who need it

Let’s walk into 2020 with a plan instead of a reaction. We have to accept the fate of a privatised UK and struggle for the poor over the next decade. Let’s be there to support quietly where we can.  

Now ancestors, whilst I have you here, could you get me a decent, loving, confident man, lose me 7kg off my belly not my boobs this time and sort out this whole writing as a purpose thing? Thanks Dears! I know you’ve got me. 12 years of asking must mean something right? I’ve put in the crimes!

Here’s to a happy 2020 for us all. #Mwaah #StayBlessed.

© Chelsea Black 2019  

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