There is one episode of Seinfeld that really resonates with me as a singletini. The one where Elaine Benes interviews guys for sponge worthiness. Why? Because they had stopped making her favourite kind of sponge so she had a limited supply. Sponges were her contraception of choice. It made her more particular about the men she slept with and each of them had to justify their case and prove themselves worthy of a sponge. If you don’t know what a sponge is then please Google it. A clip below highlights the interview process:
I recently did a year without sex. I did it for a number of personal reasons but mainly because I wanted to see if I could do it. I mean, the way we all love sex surely I would capitulate after a few months and fall into the arms of some hunk who would whisk me away to a petit mort.
But no, strangely enough I have struggled more in my two weeks and 2 days without chocolate than I did in my year without sex. I have thought about chocolate every day and walked along the aisle at Waitrose touching it lovingly. This has to mean something. I think it means that chocolate is my one true lust and Twix the love of my life. Why didn’t I see this before? Sex is pretty low down on the list.
Do I recommend a year without sex to all other singletinis? My answer is no. It was really rather boring and especially when we were going through a long, harsh winter. But what it did highlight to me is just how few people are sex or relationship worthy. Dates would be OK but none of them gave me the same sugar rush as chocolate. Sex without the rest of the relationship was actually like a twix where someone else had already eaten the biscuit. I’m fussier now and that can’t be a bad thing.
Damn I really miss chocolate.
© Chelsea Black
