Competing for dick
The sun is shining after the wettest May and, we my lovelies are ready to date again. Please note that I don’t date in Winter. The thought of getting undressed in new, non-temperature-controlled environments repulses me. It makes me physically ill. Anyway, I digress!
Third wave or no, dating continues to be something that we will do. Some of us on purpose whilst others seem to slip and fall on opportunities. You ‘slip and fall on penes’ ones are truly blessed. But what many of us have forgotten as we date is that men are the prizes. That is according to the new wave of dating experts. We didn’t even know we were competing for penis but apparently that’s what every woman secretly wants. A dick of her own.
As Kevin Samuels continues to tell us about our worth and how we should date in our weight / status there are women who are flouting this with careless abandon. And none other than BoJo’s new wife. I mean I had to ask myself the question: Is Boris Johnson a prize and if so, how fucked are we all?
Boris and wife no. 3
So Tory links aside one has to admire how determined this woman is. Working your way up from an intern / executive assistant to First wife of Plague Island is an achievement indeed. She managed to circumvent a whole marriage.
And this woman wasn’t deterred by his previous relationship failings. Instead she sees these as growth perhaps. A man who has learned from his cheating errors. Or has become more crafty. I’m all for forgiving priors when the lessons have been learned but has BoJo learned? My guess is no. The ultimate in Baby Father nonsensity.
And then there was his near death experience with Covid which doesn’t seem as deathly as we were previously led to believe. Maybe she realised that her love and taxes would be safer if she had a contract and ring. Nothing beats pragmatism like an ex PA who looks like a child of Prince Andrew and Fergie with a plan.
So, are we doing this wrong?
Now, the general rule of thumb is that reformed rakes make the best husbands but that was in the Victorian times and surely we don’t need to settle in dating? Are we meant to continue to believe that men are the prize that we are competing for?
I state categorically that I’d rather eat kale than start dating dicks with so many dubious priors that it looks like a whole season of Hollyoaks or Eastenders. A soapie hubby is not the want thanks Universe!
As I write this I realise I don’t know BoJo’s wifey’s name. And that’s ok. She will forever be a non entity to me and I don’t recognise her as someone to aspire to. But let her do her and leave the rest of us to hold onto some level of integrity on these dating streets.
Go and enjoy the sunshine! Who knows what Juicy June will bring you x
© Chelsea Black ® 2021