How to kill a relationship in 36 questions

So the New York times posted an article on a sure fire way to get to know your partner and therefore fall in love. Some of the questions are a tad too existential for my tastes but, couples differ I guess. I have no idea how I’m going to die but I beg it be when I’m 150 with all my great great( grandchildren singing 80s songs to me as I slip over onto the ancestral side. I’m not sure my future partner is ready for some of kooky answers.

My objection is not the way dating has become an interview process and we are having to answer questions t foster intimacy and vulnerability. No my real issue is having to stare at anyone for 4 minutes. I can barely tolerate 5 seconds of eye contact on a good day. 4 minutes is a long time as anyone will tell you who has tried to plank for more than a minute. Why? Why do we need to be retaught talking and getting to know each other. This is so….frustrating! Ok the talking this is important in a dating world where we do less talking and more porn fucking but some people bleed hard. Are you really ready to deal with all of their demons?

Why can’t you just exchange birth dates and times like normal people then go google compatibility? Or get them to do a myers briggs test? Or get them to meet ALL of your friends then you psychoanalyse them to death later? You know, REAL science none of this fake stuff? Let’s use the internet appropriately for the reason it was created: Snooping on potential partners.

I semi jest. If you are in a relationship try a few of the questions out and see what it brings out. We can’t fear vulnerability. Just, don’t turn your nose up at some of their answers even if they are really stupid. He is but a man after all. 😉

Oh and FuHu (Future Husband), it would be a big wedding. Big. Huge! I’m African and a size queen. But of course, you know this. Mwaah

© Chelsea Black 2015


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