How to date and not drink

Why I do not drink and date

Once again I’ve missed sober October. Drat!  It’s the only time when one can legit not drink and nobody looks at you like you’re crazy. It’s weird as many finish Sober October today and rush off to drink LOADS until January in the name of the Christmas Party ‘let’s meet for drinks’ roadshow. Then in January it’s resolutions for 3 weeks and budget stretching. Yes, every year we do the same dance.

Now I rarely drink but the one thing I stick to is not drinking when I go on or host dates.  It sounds over the top but between the need to keep alert and safe and loving waking up with a clear head the next day it just works for me. And calorie wise I’m not tempted to get a dirty kebab or two on the way home so it’s a win win. Plus the greasy breakfast. Alcohol was making me fatter than my vanity would allow.

But it’s not always easy as people EXPECT you to drink on dates, right? And I do miss the social aspect of drinking. The rituals, the cheersing etc. Oh and I love a good cocktail. So, spoiler, I’ve started to use non alcoholic drinks.

The ’I don’t drink’ dance

Whenever I tell a guy I don’t drink they start to think this means I won’t want them to drink. So I tended to lie and announce it as a 30 day challenge or early start or something else. I had to stop using the antibiotics lie as people started thinking I had lots of infections and were giving me the side eye. And why should I lie about a choice that doesn’t affect someone else? Alas, peer and societal pressure can be strong.  

I don’t know if people think they HAVE to drink to relax on a date but that’s not for me. Or they may think that you will be more open to extending the date if your inhibitions are down. Nah. I want to consciously make bad dating mistakes like I did in my youth. So we do the dance and I have to justify why I don’t drink every time.

The response is typically lots of questions as to why or they retreat as they fear judgement or something. I don’t care what they do on the date. I mean unless they’re looking to split the bill in half and they drank half a bottle of rum and I only had a cranberry juice.

The joy of non alcoholic drinks

So the thing is we still want to be sociable and avoid awkwardness where possible. Because we are trying to be nice on dates.

For those who don’t want to state why they’re not drinking i.e. I don’t drink, I don’t know you well enough to drink or I can’t afford to drink then there are non alcoholic drinks. The non alcoholic beer, wine and cocktail sections are getting bigger and better. Typically for a cocktail lover like me they just leave out the alcohol and leave me with a glorious soft drink with even more sugar. But it’s hard if you love the taste of alcohol just not the effects. The struggle is finding good non alcoholic beverages.

Let’s talk about Lyre’s!

Non alcoholic drinks are a try it and taste type of thing. Some you will love and others will not quite hit the spot. Trust me,  I’ve been bitterly disappointed by many a mixer in my day.  If you’re hosting a date then I have to give a rare product shout out to Lyre’s who make these amazing non alcoholic sprits and how I came across them.

After the Queen’s death I suddenly had a penchant for her favourite tipple; gin and tonic. But I couldn’t be bothered with a hang over or the calories. I vaguely remembered seeing them on a bar menu for a spritz so looking them up. Voila, I found Lyre’s online and had a cocktail making date night. Let’s be honest, alcohol alternatives can be risky. Like vegans you spend most of your time trying to convince yourself that it really does taste like sausage. But this tastes like proper Gin! I had the Dry London Spirit and the Italian one because I love colour in my cocktails. And they’re fruity so you don’t need loads of mixers to give it taste.  I’m off to try their rums next as I miss my mojitos. Don’t say I didn’t give y’all the heads up and a link!

Oh! And if he doesn’t call you back because you don’t drink then organise a girly cocktail night in and enjoy a good catch up. He’s not worth it but the cocktails definitely will be.

Happy non drinking!

© Chelsea Black® 2022

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