The frenemy part 2
People tend to think that your frenemy is of the same sex. I know Single White Female gave us all a certain visual but I’ve had both. In fact the male is worse because you are less likely to suspect it.
My one was a good friend. I suspected he liked me at some point but as I was dating someone he didn’t make a move and even after we broke up he didn’t say anything so I figured I must have been wrong. This is a common frenemy move. To want you or to covet something you have without expressing it openly. The suppressed nature of their desire makes them all the more dangerous. Think American Psycho or Dorian Gray. That energy will seep out though, trust me.
A few years into our friendship he introduced me to a gorgeous musician from overseas. I was hooked and so it seemed was he. We chatted and all was going well and then suddenly it wasn’t. He was cordial but never warm. I ignored it. These things happen. Maybe the alcohol had worn off? I skipped off to get another drink. No point both of us being sober was there.
Then more years passed and there was another friend of his whom I liked. I asked him out as you do and he said no. I was a little taken aback that he didn’t even cushion it with some platitudes but then he explained that no one who knew my frenemy would ever date me because frenemy had claimed me. Ok so he did like me then… but this isn’t where it ended. Frenemy wasn’t very complimentary about me to others. Whilst he claimed to adore me he made out to his friends that I had issues. I did have issues. His cockblocking and not even doing it openly was my bloody issue. And yet I kept him around because by this point Frenemy and I had known each other for over 10 years! Surely I couldn’t just dismiss it like that. Overall he wasn’t horrible to me.
Then a few years ago I decided that I needed a sperm donor. I discussed it with everyone I knew and even those I didn’t. He offered his sperm. I was surprised as I hadn’t asked him as he was married with kids but as my friend he wanted to do this for me. How generous of him! I wasn’t really sure though as I was still hopeful that FuHu would make an action hero appearance. But he said that he wanted to do this for me….as long as we slept together that night.
Yes I needed to have sex with him without protection and hope that on that one night I got pregnant and didn’t get anything else. I said no and he said go. That’s right frenemy had no issues with ending it with me after 15 years. He even made me pay for dinner. That was an awkward bill moment.
So beware my precious. A frenemy will wait until something is really important to you before pouncing. They have the patience to wait. Maybe my ego told me that it was his feelings of attraction that made him act so irrationally. Yes because a man in love acts irrationally. Oh the arrogance of me. To be fair I still think a little like this. I guess one never learns.
© Chelsea Black